Revenge. “The Good News is Your Daughter is a Drug Addict and You’re Already Dead.”

First off, we need to ogle these new Tyler Shields photos of the Revenge cast together.

Credit: Tyler Shields

 

Credit: Tyler Shields

 

And there are MORE of them on Tyler’s website. And they are SEXY and involve GUNS and DAGGERS and dress unzipping and such.

So now that that’s out of the way (STOP STARING AT GABRIEL MANN’S JUNK, OKAY?), we can talk about Sunday night’s episode, titled “Resurrection,”in which V makes her grand, bloody come-back making the Graysons band together and dashing all hopes Emanda has of gaining some sort of influence over Charlotte, Charlotte is released from rehad-prison, Jack and Amily find out the paternity of the behbeh, and Declan makes a new friend. I guess Nolan does too. Sort of.  And White Sensei-in-Training saves the day!

Just a head’s up, I’m not going to go into as much detail this week as I normally do because work is NUTS right now and I’m short on time. SPOILERS, AHOY!

The Graysons

Much like last week, I’m a little shocked by how rapidly V has been worked back into the collective conscious of the show. I mean, I guess it would be completely boring to have her in her Hamptons Hidey-hole for half the season, but I really did think that it would be a bit longer than the second episode. And I suppose that she is a lot of people’s favorite character.  I guess this shows you what I know. HOWEVER, I’m very thrilled that Charlotte is now fully aware of how terrible her mother is and how she cared more about getting Charlotte’s inheritance—which she believes she’s lost control of because she’s been declared “mentally incompetent,” but really, it was wiped out by Conrad to prop up Grayson Global because Daniel wouldn’t give his father control of his trust fund when Conrad asked for it—than she really cares for her daughter. And even if she does now think that V was coerced into saying those things so that WHA wouldn’t kill her, I really hope that Charlotte keeps her guard up when it comes to her family. I have big hopes for her this season.

I guess I should also mention that Charlotte isn’t destitute, because Daniel is a good big brother and he opened a new trust for Charlotte with half of his inheritance. Yay Daniel!

Also, can we please talk about the OMG DOMESTIC ABUSE that went down? It was pretty brilliant to frame White Haired Assassin for V’s “abduction” and beat down, but! The thrill that Conrad got out of beating the hell out of V was just . . . well done and deeply unsettling. But I’ll admit, I *did* LOL real loud when he rushed in with the cops and was all, “WHAT DID THAT PIG DO TO YOU?!”

I’m also interested to see how the Emanda/Daniel relationship plays out from here. It seems like she’s doing her best to ingratiate herself back into good standing with them, and I guess that since Charlotte has fallen through, that Daniel is the best bet, especially since Ashley is basically Conrad’s toy these days. But! Daniel is obvs not over Emanda and very angry with his father and maybe not so trusting of Ashley. But! He does completely believe Conrad when he straight-up lies to the cops and says that he bled Charlotte’s trust dry so he could pay the ransom for V. So. Hmmmm. And UGH. GET IT TOGETHER, DANIEL.

 
 

The Porters
Amily tells Emanda that she’s getting a paternity test, AND that she did have a one night stand while she was away. But she really believes the baby is Jack’s. Emanda guesses that Amily wants her to insure the results are in Jack’s favor. Emanda says she’ll do it, but that she’ll need something from Amily in return, which is meeting with Charlotte and making Charlotte belives that she’s going to be an aunt so she won’t abscond with V. This actually works (well, that and the fact that Charlotte has no money), so yay Emanda and Amily!

 However, Jack believes the baby is officially his and Emanda tells Amily that it isn’t. So there’s that. But, we do need to talk about Jack’s unwavering loyalty to “Amanda.” When he told Declan that it didn’t really matter whose baby it was because “No matter waht she’s done, she’s still Amanda,” I was simultaneously in love with him and wanting to slap him. On the one hand, that kind of love is something I don’t think most people will ever experience/understand from another human being and it’s sort of incredible that he feels that way about Amanda. And I guess that that’s the dramatic irony of the series—he wants Amanda to be back in his life so badly that he’ll believe anything as long as “she’s” there. And Emanda knows this and is allowing her white trash ex-juvey roommate with some serious acceptance issues to just BE with Jack. That amount self-sacrifice to avenge your parents is so deep-seated that I don’t even know how to comprehend it.

Additionally, Declan agrees to “hold things” for his . . .  peer? School mate? Sugar Daddy? Whatever he is, his name is Drake Chandler and he is bad news bears. He’s paying Declan to hold onto a very shiny piece of jewelry for him because he knows Declan needs the money. He also tells Declan that there’s a lot more money in store for him if he’ll agree to be essentially his scapegoat. And while this is perhaps the STUPIDEST thing Declan has done to date, the boy is cash-strapped and wants to get out of the Amily-tainted apartment. Which is understandable. And though it’s annoying right now, I’m actually interested to see where this Drake Chandler (good name, right?) storyline leads. Perhaps it’s to THE BOTTOM OF THE ATLANTIC.

 

Emanda and Nolan, (Whom will from henceforth be called The Revengers)

Nolan’s corporation is being audited. He has no idea who his accounting analyst is (her name is Padma and she’s played by Dilshad Vadsaria, who was Rebecca on Greek.) and he doesn’t have a CFO. He also is both very involved and not involved at all in his company. So, after a video chat call with Nolan, Padma goes out the Hamptons so that she can push the idea of hiring a CFO on Nolan. Then tells her that she should do the job despite her lack of a master’s degree because he wants a puppet, not a leader.

After being framed by the Graysons and tipped off about being framed, WHA calls Emanda. She tells him that she has every frame of his framing recorded from the clam cam. He goes over to her place, and they watch the video of Conrad beating V up together. Emanda tells WHA that in exchange for the video, she’ll need info about her mom. It seems as though Emanda’s mom was *actually* a suicidal nutcase, and V actually told her that David Clarke was going to be framed as a terrorist. WHA pledged to keep Emanda’s mom safe as long as she stayed quiet, but in actuality he was supposed to kill her. I’m honestly not sure if he actually did kill her, but he definitely does try to kill Emanda. BUT WHITE SENSEI-IN-TRAINING SHOOTS HIM IN THE BACK. He and Emanda do not make out over WHA’s shot up body, much to my sort of disappointment. Ever since Jax and Tara from Sons of Anarchy had the sexytimes directly after Jax killed a dude in season one, WHILE THE BODY WAS IN THE ROOM, I sort of want other shows to have that happen too. Because, I’ll be honest, if a dude saved me from death, I’d probably jump him right then and there.

 

Other Things

Nolan doesn’t wear pants on Skype! He’s just like the us!

“I once did an interview with Katie Couric, butt naked in my jacuzzi. She had no idea.”—Nolan

Nolan calls Charlotte Charlie! I really love the name Charlie for a girl.

I thought for a minute when Jack went to go get a popsicle for Amily that she was going to lift her shirt and reveal her FAKE BELLY CONTRAPTION. Alas.

What is with Daniel’s Ken doll hair?

“It’s like you just expect me to be your fashionably dressed, technologically savvy side-kick.”—Nolan to Emanda. Well. Duh.

 

So that’s that! Please do let me know all of your thoughts and feelings and theories and hopes and dreams and wishes and GIFS in comments.

BONUS PICTURES (because, LOOK AT THEM.)

emily vancamp

joshua bowman

 

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  • mayadolid

    I wasn’t really disturbed by Connie beating the shit out of Victoria because we all have someone that one time or another (or all the time) we’d like to punch in the face. All that really matters is whether you do it or not and I don’t think, as much as he despises Victoria, Conrad would ever act on his passionate hatred for his wife unless she was literally asking for it as she was in this situation. And holy hell, even though she was all beat up and bruised, the look that she gave WHG was totally withering and scary as hell.

    I wanted to see Queen V in hiding too for a bit longer but I’m glad the family Grayson is back together. My favorite part of the show is listening to Connie and V insult each other so now we’ll get oodles of that!

    I know there are some Jack haters out there but I really do hope the endgame for Emanda/the show is at least a few episodes of OTP happiness between Jack and Emanda. Even though his head is telling him that the love of his life is the skanky Fauxmanda, his heart fell in love with the real Amanda anyway. If that shit isn’t soul matey, I don’t know what is! So I was super bummed to discover that Jack really is the unfortunate one millionth customer to win the prize of Amily’s basterd child.

    The only thing I disliked about the episode is Declan’s new storyline. Declan is a shit character to start with, I’ve never been a fan of Conner Paolo, even when he was on GG and so the writers’ response is to give the worst character on the show an extremely lame storyline. Yeah, Dec, take the stolen jewelry from the rich kid who you barely know. Because that will end well.

  • Eric Pharand

    Ok Revenge, that’s enough intrigue for now :)

    Poorly shot photos I must say. The last 2 aren’t bad.

  • http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty

    Oh Jack you giant boy dumbass! I think he has convinced himself he is in love (and always has been) with “Amanda” and that he is just projecting that memory on Amily. Because, really? Who would ever thing that someone isn’t really who they say they are? But THEN, we know he has feelings for Emanda. But he is a dumbass and is ignoring his gut feelings.

    This show is totally General Days of Santa Barbara 1985.

    Nolan looks delish with his new haircut and no pants.

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