And we’re back for 8.02 “What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?” in which Kevin’s mom is bad ass and we find out Kevin is a giant pussy. But we’ll get to that later.
We start off at a Chicago bank where Mr Miyagi wants to open the #1 safe deposit box. Which happens to have a bone in it that turns out to be some kind of finger but actually looks like a petrified penis. Oh, and it glows. And looks even more penis like. Mr Miyagi then kills the bank teller (who I assume is the 5/8 of a virgin) and splatters her all over the bank vault. I couldn’t quite figure out if she was 5/8 a virgin or if he could only get 5/8 of her scooped up into the paper bag. Not that it really matters.
Can we have Dean eating every week? So S1/S2, people. Dean talking with his mouth crammed full of hamburger is just joyous. Kevin wants to go check on his mom, the profit bait. The boys can’t talk him out of it so they hop in the Metallicar and head to Michigan. They stake out Tiger Mom’s house and, like in the S3 horrifying finale, No Rest for the Wicked, the brothers Winchester spot the demons in the mailman and gardener.
Can I just say, it’s been a while since I watched 3.16 but this scene at the house really felt like that episode. But it also showed how much the boys had changed in the past 5 years. They are much more brutal and don’t hesitate at killing at all anymore.
They save Kevin’s mom and kill her canasta partner and all is right with the world for about 2 minutes. Tiger Mom wants to stay with her son as they go find the tablet. Great. You know this can’t be good. They both have to get the demon blocking tattoo and this shows what a bad ass Kevin’s mom is and what a giant pussy Kevin is. Yes, he whimpers the whole time he is getting the tat. His mom didn’t even flinch. Kevin whimpers some more. I have multiple tattoos and I might have done a swift intake of breath once but I never made all that noise. And my mom never held my hand.
And they are on their way to the bus station.
Alas, the only thing in the locker that Kevin left the tablet in is a diaper bag. Sexy FBI agents Neil and Sixx interrogate the thief, well, Dean actually does after looking into the the guys soul and seeing he KNOWS something he is not telling. Dean takes off his tie in a super sexy way and just sexes the truth out of Clem Smedley.
Dean is having fabulous black and white flashbacks to Purgatory. Searching for Castiel and running around all dirty and bloody. Interrogating maybe a wolf thing that then stabbing him up the chin. This whole flashback thing is really great. The colors and the almost Wayne and Garth way the show moves into them. The bloopy music is not the same but Purgatory has a sound to it. Scratchy. I wanted to adjust the sound but it was Purgatory and there is just this buzzy noise. Maybe you noticed too. Anyway, Dean and Benny find Cas at a creek. I have to say, Cas is looking kind of fine all scruffy and dirty.
Back to present time. Boo.
They follow their intel to a pawn shop where the douche behind the counter doesn’t want to tell them anything. Step in Tiger Mom with Kevin and Sam the mathletes backing her up with their math skills and Douchy McDouche spills his guts so he won’t have to pay taxes on his Ferrari. They then go to some crappy motel looking for, I assume, the person that bought the tablet from the pawn shop and it turns out to be some turn of the century looking dandy. He’s kind of a douche too. He’s come to invite Kevin to the auction where his boss, Plutus, the god of wealth (although the show says “greed”), is auctioning off the tablet to the highest bidder. By default, the boys and mom get to be his +3.
They all go to the auction with no plan and pretty much no money. Weapons have to be left at the door. Did I say they didn’t have a plan? Because they don’t. It’s so Winchester family. Shitty plan/no plan. Well, they actually DO have a plan but it’s a shitty one and I could have told them it was not going to work. You should always assume that the enemy is smarter than you not dumber. That way, when you turn out to be smarter your plan will actually work.
So did anyone else notice how much that one guy looked like Jean Luc Picard? Any Trekkies out there that can explain the reference? Or was this some other ancient Roman/Greek thing?
The auction starts with some random stuff, you know, Thor’s hammer. Mr Miyagi bids his frost giant finger and wins. The tablet comes up and Crowley bids 3 BILLION dollars. And the moon. And the real Mona Lisa where she is topless. Alfie the angel is bidding too but he doesn’t really seem to be into it. Tiger Mom wins by bidding her soul.
The trade off for Mrs Tran’s soul is all double cross and triple cross and a giant cluster fuck. Almost everyone dies. Sam kills the dandy man (and Mr Miyagi) with Thor’s Hammer which was totally cool. Dean almost kills Tiger Mom/Crowley in front of Kevin. Kevin is not pleased. Tiger Mom is not in good shape after having Crowley all up in her for 15 minutes. She is not talking and just kind of comatose. Crowley takes the tablet and Kevin takes his mom. The boys are left with nothing but feelings.
Quotes and Random:
“You can’t get rid of all my black eyed boys, Samantha” – Crowley to Sam
“Maybe you should try plan D for dumbass” – Crowley to Dean
Crowley’s demon smoke is red smoke.
Is it important who Kevin’s real father is? Hmmmmmm
So what did you think? What happened to Cas? Are you ready for Sam flashbacks next week? Hit up the comments! Even you bitches that read the recaps but don’t comment. It’s not hard. Just start typing! You know you want to.
Don’t forget next week is the Jensen directed episode. Squee! Here’s the promo for next week!