Was it just me or did this seem like one of the weakest episodes in a long while? What is wrong with me? It started strong and then just fizzled and ugh. I was so ready to get home and laugh and laugh but no. I was disappointed. But actually writing this made me like it better, so we’ll chalk it up to an off night. Hopefully y’all had a better perspective.
Anyway, Ben and Leslie didn’t interact at all this episode, which I get. I mean, they’re roughly 1000 miles apart. But that sort of sucked. Anyway, let’s get into it.
Leslie & Andy are adorable significant others, so they sent Care Packages to DC. Ben’s came with waffle mix, a JJs diner coffee mug, and some pajamas. And y’all, that was only box 1 of 12. Meanwhile, Andy sent April a stuffed 3-legged dog and his dirty laundry because he is a child and has been wearing a bandana as underwear for 3 days (he even included a picture).
But the big deal in the DC office this week is that Ben can’t deal with interns. But before he fires them, as he so clearly wants to, he realizes that every single one of those twerps is seriously connected. So, instead of firing them, he’s going to kiss their asses like crazy.
So then he tries so hard that it was actually painful for me to watch. It was killing me. He figured out Ellis, the douciest of interns (who OF COURSE goes to Georgetown – ie the worst) that everyone likes ultimate so he planned a little pre-work frisbee game. And, yes. Ben committed the ultimate fashion offense - he wore a visor. But not only that, he wore it upside down and backwards.
If you weren’t already positive that Ellis was a terrible person, know that he thinks April is Ben’s daughter. Which, there is just no possible way, okay. Also, ew. Oh, and there have been caricatures around the office of Ben with sticks up his but. April’s behind it. So he snaps, telling her she’s smart and has potential and asks her to just give 15% effort.
Then April get’s super bad-ass and roughs up Douche-boy Ellis until he does what he’s supposed to without being asked twice. Then she patronizingly kisses him on the nose. It is awesome.
NYC Soda Ban spoof! A tax on soda would lower diabetes in town and it’s up for a vote. It will be Leslie’s first Committee meeting.
Soda Sizes at Paunch Burger (all of the restaurant names were worth a laugh).
- Small – 64 oz.
- Regular – 128 oz. (Gallon)
- Child Size – 512 oz. (roughly the size of a 2 year old child, if the child were liquified. )
- Zero Water – implied zero calories. Instead 300 calories. The name is because there’s 0 water in it.
The amount of sugar everyone consumes in Pawnee is nothing short of astonishing. Despite everyone gaining weight and getting diabetes, some people are against the tax because, if it passes, restaurants will have to cut ~100 employees. Which leads to a wonderful, if inconclusive public forum.
When it actually comes down to the vote, we get to see a bunch of old faces: Ethel Beavers is back! So is Councilman Houser. We get just a glimpse of them before Leslie pukes in her Child’s Size cup.
Ron gives Leslie a pep-talk the only way Ron ‘effing Swanson can. So he admits that he’s tried to fire Leslie 4 times because the first year Leslie worked in Parks she drove him nuts because every time he said no she ignored him. But he withdrew each of them because she has conviction. So he gives her a compass to never lose her bearings because all great adventurers need them. So Leslie votes “aye” and the Soda Tax passes.
Across town, Andy’s gonna be a cop! I had forgotten about that. He has to run 2 miles in under 25 minutes. – Physically impossible, right? But don’t worry, Chris and Tom are helping him train. (Did anyone else think Chris Pratt put on a little weight? I thought he was in better shape than that). But while Andy has a goal (getting in shape for the police academy, and by proxy April), Chris doesn’t have anyone in his life so he kind of loses steam and just falls down. It was weird.
Notable & Quotable:
- Sue’s Salads got run out of town! YESSSSS.
- “Come on, guys. 12 point font, 13 is just obnoxious.” – Ben
- “Papyrus, are you kidding? There’s no use for that in a professional setting.” – April
- “We should lock down some tight disc grabs.” – Ben
Despite feeling like this was a lackluster episdoe, I once again have to give it up for the continutiy. Ron was upset with Leslie’s loud talking head so he shut the office doors using the automatic closer that she gave him last Christmas. Perfection. So, what did y’all think? Hit up the comments and let me know.