Sums up how I feel about this show AND Adam Scott’s face.

Hi guys! I’ve missed you all so much. Almost as much as I missed Parks. Get ready for a long post filled with barbecue, romantic reunions, government meetings, and self-guided museum tours.

Washington, DC

Remember when Ben got offered that gig working on a congressional campaign? He took April with him as an intern because this show is genius. Though I do think it’s funny that over the last few seasons April has gone from intern to assistant to temporary Assistant Director of the Parks Department back to intern again.

Anyway, Leslie went to DC to present an application at the Department of the Interior about a grant to clean up the Pawnee River. She takes Andy with her just because? I think he just missed April. So Andy makes the obvious jokes – the Capitol Building is a boob, the Washington Monument is a penis, etc. – before ditching Leslie to have sex with April.

This show did pretty well with DC. I mean food trucks! They are everywhere. On campus there are sometimes 10 trucks parked in the same block. And I recently found a funnel cake truck. Food trucks would probably do well in Pawnee.

Andy continues to be goofy, such as assuming that everything is a clue towards finding a National Treasure. Which, valid. So he and Leslie leave the Lincoln Memorial to meet April and Ben at “the Smithsonian.” (Sidenote/Rant: Which, okay, I have a bit of a problem with because there are so many Smithsonian museums, alright? So which one are they meeting at and are they really planning on making it from the Lincoln to the Mall in 10 minutes? Sorry – this is me having a hard time suspending my disbelief and I apologize.)

Reunion-times! Leslie and Ben together again – at the American History Museum (of course). The difference between the reunions is hilarious. April and Andy jet off to have sex and Leslie and Ben kiss, hug and peace. Also, HELLO, BEN. You are looking mighty fine, better than usual – which you’d think would be impossible, but there it is.

Leslie’s shows up give her pitch about getting grant money but her appointment is out of the office, so her only option is to drop the application off. But her presentation was going to be awesome – CD of a babbling brook playing in the background, a video of some frolicking river otters. I predict it would’ve been a hit.

Ben’s a total sweetheart (with a kickass office) so he sets up tickets for them all to go to a mixer gala swanky something-or-other. All of the women are tall, and statuesque and look like CSPAN and Neiman Marcus had kids which means Leslie is feeling insecure and I want to give her a big old hug.

Continuing his role as bestest boyfriend ever, Ben introduces Leslie to numbers 4 and 26 on her List of Amazing Women. Upon seeing Senators Barbara Boxer and Olympia Snow Leslie gets a little verklempt and says, “I just wanted to say that you are my role models, and you are incredibly amazing women, and it is an honor to meet you, and I really respect your grace under pressure and thank you for your time.”

Continuing with the political guest stars, Leslie asks John McCain to please just leave her alone. I loved that moment so hard.

Following Andy’s advice, Leslie takes it upon herself to clean up the river. She decides to hold office hours every Saturday morning so that her constituents can approach her with any concerns they may be having. It’s adorable, just like Leslie.

Pawnee, Indiana

Ron turned down Chris’ offer of Assistant City Manager (or something) so he’s stuck having to take initiative in the Parks Department. This means it falls to him to plan the Leslie Knope Employment Enjoyment Summer Slam Grill Jam Fun-Splosion.

He holds a barbecue, allowing the attendees to Meet Your Meat. Because of course Ron brought a living pig to the barbecue. The pig’s name is Tom. Someone tries to take exception to Ron slaughtering and roasting a pig on parks grounds, but he has a permit – really just a piece of paper he wrote on saying he could do what he wants.

No one is willing to allow Ron to slaughter the pig, so he has to go buy some meat. In the meanwhile, we learn that Tom/Ann didn’t work out. Do y’all know how thrilled I am that Haverkins didn’t work out? If you’ve read any of my past recaps, you probably are. I am beyond thrilled that they broke up. Not that I want love to fail, or anything, just theirs. Because, ew. They do this mini-fake out to save face that they imploded so soon after drunkenly moving in together, but no one really cares. So that’s the most we’re going to say about that.

Notable & Quotable:

• Hot Rebecca – the Jealousy Amalgam that Leslie made up. (Thanks, Greek, for teaching me that word.
• LESLIE AND BEN HAVE A SIGNATURE DANCE MOVE.
• Shrimp Claw!
• There are Pawnees in: Pawnee: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Missouri (total craphole), Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas
• Ann/Tom glitter wars: Disco Dairy! Sparkle Suds! Sparkle Skin – Twinkle Twinkle Big Star!

“I’m just tired, I just saw 24 historic sites in a day and it’s 120 degrees out with 200% humidity because this is a stupid swamp town.” Leslie Knope knows how I feel about weather and this stupid swamp town.

“The White House, most importantly, is where Sinbad lived in the movie First Kid.” Andy

“Oval Redenbacker used to hang out with Kennedy. That’s why it’s the Orville office.” Andy

“Barbecues should be about one thing – good shared meet.” – Ron

Leslie: And it’s nice to see you again.
Ben: Were you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.

“Sir, you protect this nations history and you’re a hero.” – Leslie, to museum guard

“Raisins – they’re basically nature’s candy.” – Chris

“Put your used plate in my purse, I almost have a complete set.” – April

That’s it (finally). Sorry for the longest post ever. My friend mentioned the fact that Ben introduced Leslie’s to the senators as his “friend” and thinks that is foreshadowing trouble in river city. Let’s hope not. I don’t think Parks would go there, do you? Talk me off this ledge! I missed you all so very much. You can catch my Parks recaps here every Friday(ish) as well as my Mindy Project recaps which should be starting next week.