Previously on SoA: Opie shot Clay (finally SOMEbody shot Clay); Jax needs Opie; Opie needs time; Gemma’s not making all the decisions for everybody everywhere anymore and she doesn’t like it; Gemma’s knockin’ boots with somebody she doesn’t remember (yeah, I just said “knockin’ boots…whatever…also, Hey! Jimmy Smits!); home invasions are going down in Charming…but only to SAMCRO members which is a serious bizarre coincidence; Tig ran Damon Pope’s daughter over; Damon Pope had Tig’s very alive daughter SET ON FIRE IN FRONT OF TIG!!! So, you know…just another day in Charming and the surrounding ‘hoods.

Now, this week – Authority Vested (ha!):

• We open with the Sheriff paying Opie a late night booty call…but he’s looking for Jax…which would be my play too. Personally.
• Jax, Chibs & Bobby are hanging at Nero’s whorehouse. As you do.
• I’m super curious about what Nero’s angle is. He’s got to have one, no? He can’t just be a reformed gangbanger, current pimp with a heart of gold and an eye for looking out for felonious bikers who are currently wanted for murder, right? And, it can’t be to get on Gemma’s good side…’cuz clearly he’s been all over her good side. Apparently Jax is curious too…we know this ‘cuz he specifically asks Nero…we don’t get much more than “you know, maybe you can help ME out one day”…whatever, I suppose we’ll all find out together.
• Poor Unser…that looks uncomfortable. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you disobeyed Clay and he beat the fuck out of you too…but no, just another home invasion and you were the unlucky bastard feeding Gemma’s bird (not a euphemism).
• Urgent call from Tig…Jax, Chibs & Bobby find him in a seriously calm (but I’m guessing entirely dangerous) mood looking over the dead bodies of his daughter Dawn, the badge wearing cop/sheriff-like dude & all the other collateral damage…poor Tig. Kim Coates was amazing in this scene. Scarily, heartbreakingly, grief-strickenly (that can’t be a word) quiet. So good.
• LOL @ Clay wondering where Gemma is…I’m sure he’ll be pleased when he finds out she’s likely off somewhere “doin’ a spic pimp”.
• Oh no. Jax’s wheels are obviously turning…next up for SAMCRO has gotta be selling tail. (Classy way to say that, Erin.) I wonder if that’s a better way to go than running guns and cocaine?
• Jax has gotta lose the plaid/flannel shirt. I need him to go back to the hoodie so that my thug fantasy remains intact. Thank you.
• If you propose to me with a “Hey, I’m turning myself in tonight, I think we should get hitched.” I’ll probably say no. Maybe. Still, that scene was all kindsa cute. Tara’s “Here? In a brothel?” and Jax’s “I’m all about the fairy tale!” “Nothing says endless love like capital murder!” was perfect.
• I’m not in love with that eye roll that Tara gave Jax after his “see you later, I’ll make an honest woman out of you”. I suppose it could’ve been an eye roll at the thought of her being an honest woman but it seemed like there was more behind the eye roll. Am I just being over sensitive about the bitch rolling her eyes at Jax? Who DOES that to Jax?
• Okay, seriously…Unser…beat up, broken and CANCER and STILL he’s doing his own investigation into the home invasions. He should teach classes on work ethic & dedication.
• Shit…you know when the Sons roll up on a house with a bunch of brothers on the porch…not, like, THEIR brothers…like, BROTHER brothers…and, they’re rolling up ‘cuz Tig’s looking for his other daughter, Fawn…shit’s gonna get ugly…we know this, right?
• LOL x 1,000!!!!
  • Girl, (Fawn) screaming: PLEASE STOP!!!! IT HURTS!!!!
  • Guy, pulling her hair & pounding her from behind: You LIKE it when it hurts!!!
• Look, I know THAT shouldn’t be funny…but I couldn’t help but laugh…and then Tig lost his shit!!! And then “WAIT DAD!!! DON’T KILL HIM!!! HE’S MY BOYFRIEND, YOU ASSHOLE!!!”  The looks on EVERYbody’s faces were brilliant.
• And then, Tig brings me to tears. Seriously, of all the Sons…never did I think he’d be the one to make me sad….but he’s got one dead daughter and one who hates him. And he’s got tears in his eyes. I’m not good with men showing emotion. I mean, I think it’s amazing when they can let themselves be vulnerable & shit, I think THAT’s a real man…but still…I can’t take it. It destroys me…both in real life and on TV. I have issues. Embrace them with me, won’t you?
• I feel like Bobby’s blowing smoke up Clay’s ass here telling him he did a good thing and I don’t like it. Fuck Clay. Asshole. And what’s HIS angle with his visit to Opie? He can’t be really trying to convince Opie that Jax needs him and HE needs SAMCRO for their own good…did almost dying really make Clay see that he’s a complete douche  and now he’s trying to make amends? Can’t be. Right?
• Nero just looks SO shifty all the time. Smits is amazing. I forgot how much I love him.
• Ahhhh!!! SEE!!! Jax IS interested in running a brothel. Unless this is just typical badass small talk…? Maybe that’s the direction he’ll try to take the club in once he gets them out of the cartel shit. IF he gets them out of the cartel shit. On the scale of morality, where does running a whorehouse fit in relation to running drugs & guns?
• Why does Gemma look pissed at Unser for investigating the home invasions? Everybody else thinks that Pope’s boys are behind them…does she know differently? You know, I acknowledge that I’m new to the SoA game and maybe this has been said by bigger & better than me…but, I think eventually we’re going to see that Gemma’s the biggest, baddest, bad of them all. She’ll make the cartel & the Irish dudes & Damon Pope look like girl scouts. I think she’s pure evil. Also crazy. Not a good combo.
• I’m kinda loving the Jax & Nero bonding time. It could just be because it involves Jax…but really, it’s always good to make friends outside your normal circle & when you can bond over the fact that you both have junkie ex-wives, you KNOW the friendship’s destined to last. Right?
• Lyla & Ima. Holy shit…THAT is not how any of my gyno appointments go. For the most part. Maybe that’s what gynaecologists should do though…provide live, soft porn entertainment to alleviate the awkwardness of being up in stirrups & having your cooch on display. If EVERYbody was pantsless you wouldn’t stand out so much.
• Seriously though…where the fuck is Opie going now??? Jax needs him!! WE need him. Lyla…probably doesn’t need him…I mean, they were only married for a minute…she’ll probably get by either way.
• Ohmygoodness…you guys…you know that thing about Gemma being pure evil?? Let me put that comment on hold for a minute since she just gave Tara her & John Teller’s rings to get married with. Sweet & sentimental. Just like our Gemma. (shhhhh! I’ll get back to calling her the crazy she-devil soon!)
• Okay…the ceremony is kind of blah…but what do you expect with only a few hours notice & the venue being a house of ill repute? Not exactly hearts & flowers…that’s what. Sidenote: I really want Jax’s “SO” “NS” rings. Not like I’d wear them. I totally wouldn’t…I swear…they don’t exactly go with my Tiffany shit…still, I want them.
• Awwww, Chibs!!!! I don’t really know exactly what you said but I loved it and it was the most wedding-y part of the wedding!! <3
• So this whole meet with Romeo & the other CIA dude…what’s the deal? Clearly Jax is overestimating his worth to these guys…which isn’t good…but obviously they’re not gonna let “black kill them” inside…’cuz then there’d be no show. Well, none that I’d watch anyway (take note, SB…if Jax goes…I’m gone!).
• OPIE!!! You came back!!! But…now I’m confused (not unusual). Maybe I don’t know anything (maybe not just maybe, it’s a strong possibility) but how does Opie smashing the shit out of the cops & ending up in jail with Jax & the boys HELP Jax? I mean, I’m happy that the bromance is back on. But wouldn’t it be better if he was out, in the club, being Jax’s eyes & ears with Bobby there? Is it about safety in numbers on the inside? Did I miss something? Am I not enough of a criminal to get it?
• Shit. Pope knowing the boys every move, including their jail ETA, can’t be any good for anybody.

Okay, that’s it for this week. I’m not sure it was the best episode I’ve ever seen…although, it could just be that I’m expecting more to happen all at once and being left with all these questions is kinda killing me after my 4 season marathon which resulted in me getting ALL the answers immediately…still, it was good and I can’t wait for next week. I’m assuming we’ll get to see the boys inside…likely fighting which means Jax’ll be all growly & delicious…boy fights & testosterone should not excite me this much, huh?

Anyway, what’d you think? Loved it, hated it, indifferent?

Is it just me or does Chibs look like he’s getting thinner?

So…Bobby & Tara are in on the RICO & CIA stuff…is Tara allowed to be?

This episode needed more Juice & Happy. That’s just a fact.

My girl, Tash (@80sRebelGirl) suggested doing shots everytime Jax said “Jesus Christ” this season…I’d like to add to that: let’s do a shot every time Jax strokes his goatee (also, not a euphemism).

Let’s talk in the comments or you can follow me on Twitter – @erintalkscrap if you want…even if it’s just to gush about Jax. I’m okay with that.