I don’t like Cat Deeley, as I’ve mentioned before. Tonight took the cake. She simply walks out and starts talking to the audience like they are toddlers. In a mushy voice: “Are you screaming? Yes, you are, you are screaming.” What the hell is wrong with this chick?

Guest judge for tonight is Rob Marshall who has been on before. He is a director and choreographer of some sort.

First up is Eliana and Cyrus doing a paso doble. Instead of Cyrus as the matador and Eliana as the cape, they are going swap roles. Eliana was good as usual but Cyrus was just ok. This guy has been improving all season, but the trajectory just DOES NOT point to him being in the finale. That cartwheel, the awkward stance, and the timid steps were just not up to snuff. The paso doble needs some aggression and he was just pussyfooting it. Disappoint as the paso doble is one of my favorites. Not to mention we saw a killer one earlier in the season (by Cole, I think).

Tiffany pairs with all star Will who has grown some crazy dreads and a goatee. They are doing a Sonya Tayeh routine. It all felt very Sonya: the dancing, the outfits, and the music for the most part. The music did get a little disco in the middle which was weird, but both Will and Tiffany danced nicely. Will may want to invest in a bench press though. Also, Sonya’s hair actually does not look totally weird today. I barely recognized her. To wrap things up, Creepy Uncle Nigel hits on Tiffany. Gross.

Chehon and Eliana will be doing a ballet. It was really nice to see them in their element. I thought they made it all look effortless. The only thing that bothered me was Chehon’s painted on pants. Yikes. But very lovely dancing though.

Tiffany and Cyrus are doing some hiphop by a lady I’ve never heard of, Tessandra Chavez. It seems like each season there is a non-hiphopper that ends up really taking to hiphop and this season I think it is Tiffany. In the past Lauren and Alex Wong were a couple that really did it well. I liked that dance a lot and I felt like they have very good chemistry and were in sync. That performance by Cyrus was refreshing after his paso doble. Side note: We all remember Happy Endings’ ugly crier. Well Tiffany’s sister is an ugly laugher. That chick looks like she is dying when she laughs.

The group number is a Tyce routine. Needless to say it sucks and I hated it. It was like Tyce just said, “Hey, you all go do whatever you want. I’m going to go drink an assload of appletinis.”

Sidebar: They’ve really buried Eliana’s pole dancing thing from the first episode of the season. Looks like someone slipped a clip of her in a bikini swinging on a pole in her season recap. Here is her solo:

Chehon, all star Allison, and Stacey Tookey are teaming up. This should be good. Interestingly enough, I didn’t remember Allison at all from the season she was originally on. However, she has turned out to be one of my favorite all stars over the last few seasons. Stacey Tookey killed it again. Chehon went almost unnoticed which was good, I think. Chehon tries so hard usually, but this one was effortless.

Well, the pole is back with Eliana and Tiffany. And that was weird. They did a great job dancing, but I didn’t really feel like that form of dancing really fits into the show. Line of the night was Rob Marshall saying, “I’m just trying to imagine Queen Latifah doing that.” I’m scarred for life. I don’t think anyone, knows what to think about that routine.

Cyrus’s solo:

Tiffany’s solo:

Chehon and Cyrus:

Last week they had the wheelchair/regular guy combo dancing. This week they had a b-boy with one leg who danced with crutches. I like that there are some people out there that are pushing the limits of what we regularly see.

Chehon’s solo:

Eliana is dancing a Travis wall routine with all star Alex. I liked everything about the routine except the music. What a douchy song. Alex partnered the shit out of Eliana and she was nailing everything. I really liked the blend of contemporary with some ballet elements. Very good.

Tiffany and Chehon are doing a rumba. Before we get to the dance, can I just say it is weird that Dmitry with a Russian accent has the last name Chaplin. That was easily the least rumba-ish rumba I’ve ever seen. That felt far more like a waltz or even contemporary. Maybe someone can tell me in the comments what makes a rumba a rumba.

All star Twitch and Cyrus are doing an animation dance. It is choreographed by Christopher Scott, but fortunately I has almost no storyline which is always a good thing. They are both incredible at this genre. At times, I felt like my TV was broken because they were so strobed in their movements. Really, just an incredible performance.

So all that is left is the finale next week. What did you think about the dancers this week? Excited about the finale next week? Excited to see Mary, Nigel, and some other out of shape people do a dance? Let me know in the comments!