The Glades: Nice Legs, Perky Ass. That’s All I Remember.

Happy Last Recap Before the Finale!! Not that I’m happy the season’s over. Look…I know my recaps haven’t really been all hearts & flowers but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish there were more than 10 episodes to a season…I still really love the basics of the show…the core relationships…I’d like more time with them. Seriously.

I’m going to do the same thing as last week…my reactions as I was watching. I presume that’s fine with you guys?

  • We start with some weird scuba diving extras coming out of murky water talking about coral reef conservation. Would there be coral reef in that water? Is there coral reef in a murky lake? Was it just a lake? A stream? I know nothing about marine biology. Or stuff.
  • When are chicks in bikinis gonna learn to NOT go off on their own to purify their water (not a euphemism).
  • All of a sudden we’ve switched to an episode of CSI where she’s conveniently discovering blood drops in mud which lead her directly to the dead body o’ the week.
  • I LOVE this Callie/Carlos conversation…Carlos all reassuring Callie about her studies and her brain seizing and that’s normal!! I miss their interactions! And, playful Jim jumping for the phone and just wanting to talk to his girlfriend…but then…she’s gotta go? How does she not make a little time for some Jim phone lovin’??
  • WAIT!!! Did she actually just dismiss Jim and hang up on him altogether? Nuh uh. Bad form, Cal. Not cool.
  • And, of course…Jim looks up from Callie hanging up on him and who’s right there? The Bureau Chief. Will my “I’m hating her a little bit less than usual” semi-reprieve from last week continue? With this development, methinks notsomuch.
  • “And his luck just ran out.” – Jim
  • We got another Horatio Caine-esque cheesy line but no dramatic donning of the shades before the title card. You gotta do both, Jim, or it just doesn’t count.
  • I mean, why WOULDN’T Daniel be all fascinated with lottery winners? Of course he would know who the victim is.
  • And now, my alternate title for this recap: “I’m not a shut in, I just hate people.” Oh, Neil Gannon…I think you & me are gonna be friends.
  • Jim’s call to Callie: “I’m trying to organize a trip to Atlanta this weekend.” Me: ME TOO!!!! Except the weekend after next…look out ATL!! (Also, YAY!)
  • Wait, my ATL fun celebration is short lived ‘cuz Callie tells Jim she doesn’t have time with her rounds & studying and stuff :(  “I know you’re frustrated (read: sexually). So am I.”
  • I hate the lead up to serious Jim/Callie stress.
  • So, Brian Taylor won $130 million and he was depressed…this is totally why I’d only want to win $50 million. More than that would be ridiculous. And depressing. (kidding, I know depression is a serious thing & money does NOT make everything better…still, I believe $50 million would put me in a better frame of mind for dealing with other depressing shit…I can’t know for sure…but it’s a risk I’m willing to take)
  • Shit! I’m already to make a point about how much I love Jim and would totally jump on his Scotland (St. Andrew’s)/Pebble Beach dream…although, I’d throw in a house on Paradise Island for the Ocean Club golf course too…stunning…and/or a house in Lyford Cay that’s close to Tiger’s golf course ‘cuz everything really IS better in the Bahamas…but whatever…and THEN, Stark has to jump in with she’s not sure how long her man’s gonna be a problem…???? No thank you, ma’am. No leading the already sad ‘cuz he’s missing his girlfriend, Jim to wondering what’s going on with YOUR long distance relationship. Nuh. Uh. Keep it to yourself. Get a girlfriend to talk to that shit about.
  • Okay…moving along…
  • So, this kid (the victim’s brother) lives in some crazy ass mansion with millions of dollars in cars & bikes & toys scattered about but Jim and Stark are just free to wander about the grounds until they get to the backyard where he’s flying gigantic remote control helicopter, like you do…and, all he has to say when he sees two random strangers in said backyard is “sorry, can’t hear you” and then continues to fly the helicopter instead of say, putting the toy down & wondering what the entire fuck people (who you don’t yet know are cops) are doing wandering around your property? Okay.
  • Recluse. Do you say “reeecluse” or “reckluse”???  Just curious.
  • Hold up. The angry, “I hate people” dude is a 32 yr old young adult romance writer. I kinda love this.
  • And, while we know the romance writing recluse is the perfect suspect, we’re led to the nice legged, perky assed, annoying realtor lady. Which, by the way, I kind of loved it when Jim & Stark got to her office & Stark was the one who go the “perky ass” comment. Deceivingly we CAN appreciate other women’s perky attributes.
  • I love the running theme of  Jim just grabbing shit to eat wherever he is…in this case from Perky Ass’ client gift baskets. By all means, Jim…help yourself.
  • Okay…Miranda showing up at Callie’s door to apologize for having been a bitch is a little random. Even if it IS to invite her to a stunted tissue valve thing. Do we trust Miranda?
  • AND our sweet, sweet Jim is arranging a gift basket of his own for Callie…with all her favourite things…WHILE SHE’S AGREEING TO GO OUT WITH MIRANDA?  Grrrr.
  • I mean, she’s entitled to a break, obviously…but maybe she could make just a little time for our boy instead of going out with Bitchy McBitcherpants for free food, booze & stunted tissue valves?
  • Blah blah blah…maybe the brother did it.
  • Or, perhaps Perky Ass.
  • It’s official…I love that we’re getting a little more of the Carlos/Jim (and some Daniel) banter back but I kinda hate that Stark is directly in the middle of it. I don’t necessarily HATE her anymore…I just don’t want her in the middle of OUR stuff. You know?
  • Ohhhh!!!! Harmless, I hate people guy may not be so harmless!! I really wanted him to not be crazy.
  • Again, do we trust Miranda? There’s something about her…AND…why oh why do the romance gods hate Jim & Callie…WHY did she have to JUST miss the basket. I mean, of COURSE she did…but why?
  • WAIT!!!! HOLD UP!!!! WTF???!!!
  • #1 – Jim should not be bothering to engage Stark in relationship conversation…NO good will come of that…
  • #2 – Please tell me that Stark did NOT just tell Jim that her long distance relationship guy is MARRIED!!!
  • Back to hating her. I’m fickle. I’m entirely entitled this time.
  • Seriously though…so, she didn’t know he was married at the time…she fell in love and then found out…AND THEN STAYED WITH HIM!!! No wonder she has no problem moving in on Jim. Whore. Please feel free to find yourself an unattached man.
  • And now she’s getting undressed… Come. On.
  • Can I just say that there is no way in hell you would get me I that water. No chance.
  • Oh, hello cougar!! (panther?)
  • I kinda loved Jim hanging from the tree & then crazy recluse coming out & talking to “Sheila” like she’s a fluffy white “Princess Fancy Pants” kitten looking for her treats.
  • Jim’s “Hey, look!! Sheila’s back!!”” and tackle was fantastic.
  • AND…we’re back to the brother having done it. By accident. ish. Idiot.
  • Finally!!! Callie gets that she’s the worst girlfriend ever and calls Jim…but wait…who shares and devours a gift basket before knowing who it’s for/from?  I’ve worked in various offices…you don’t open the basket unless you know it’s yours or the person it was intended for opens it and THEN you can dive in.
  • Awwwww….see!!! Jim is breaking my heart. Again, I reiterate…I agree that Callie needed a break from studying. I just think she could’ve taken a minute to have a chat with her boyfriend while she was taking that break instead of eventually putting THAT look on his face when he realizes that she took a break and chose not to dedicate any of that break time to him. :(
  • Jesus, Jim…NO! Do NOT ask Stark about relationship stuff…oh..no…this is not gonna be any good for anybody.
  • I’m a little nervous about next week’s finale. I do no enjoy angst.

Well, what say you? Am I the only one who was starting to not hate Stark only to be thrown back into “she’s a total whore” mode?

Do you wish there were more episodes or are you ready for a break that will HOPEFULLY lead to fantastic season 4??

See you in the comments :)

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  • http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

    I am totally annoyed that I have spent 3 seasons shipping Jim/Callie and they are going to break them up for Stark. Boo! I still hate that she does not wear work appropriate clothing!!! It’s KILLING me!!!!

    And Jim and Stark in the tree was just weird. When did this show get to be like this? I blame Stark and her stupid shoes. Oh, and I almost shit when she took her blouse off because I assumed she would be standing there inappropriately dressed in her bra. Sue me.

    I love the guy who hates people. I can totally relate. Did you see that story on CBS This Morning that 37% of people live alone now? Yes! I am one and I am happy!!!!

    I can’t even talk about Callie and her being all weird. Does she still even have a son or did he go into witness protection? Where is Jeff???

  • http://twitter.com/erintalkscrap Erin

    LOL!! I wondered where Jeff was too….I’m worried about his welfare. They could at least show Jim checking in on him or something…and Callie WAS weird…I don’t like it. And I DEFinitely don’t like that this whole “breaking them up for Stark” thing. I actually saw the preview this week and I HATE it…I try so hard to NOT see them that I’m pissed that THIS is the one that I caught. Ugh.
    I, too, thought she’d end up in her bra when she was “so hot”…and then, I totally thought she’d be enitrely see through after she fell in the water. Ugh. Again.
    I used to think the show was really smart & funny…now, notsomuch with the smart & very rarely with the funny. It makes me sad.

  • B A

    I hope the preview was intentionally misleading us to think that Jim was calling it quits with Callie. If Jim does initiate the break up, the writers are definitely making the leading man look like a jackass – considering Callie was willing to give up her dream for him last season.
    Jim was meant to be this strong, smart and supportive man who encouraged Callie to pursue her dreams. Now Jim is portrayed as this needy little boy and stereotypical male who can no longer commit to a long distance relationship because someone nearby has come along. Surely the writers cannot make their leading man so predictable and unlikeable … are they forgetting Jim / Matt has a huge female fan base ;)!
    Maybe the writers will surprise us with Jim proposing…and Callie deciding to move back and finish degree at a local medical school!

  • http://twitter.com/erintalkscrap Erin

    I don’t know if I can agree that they’re making it seem like Jim can’t commit because “someone nearby has come along”…I think it’s more that long distance relationships are tough…they both knew that going in.
    Yes, Callie gave up her dream last season and then he was super supportive of her this season but now…how supportive can he be if he’s, seemingly, the only one putting the effort into making the tough long distance thing work?
    She’s hanging up on him, brushing him off when he tries to make plans to come see her which would’ve been the perfect study break because she wouldn’t have to go anywhere, do anything, put any effort into the visit…just be there to “break” with him and then he’d go and she could get back to studying all refreshed and ummmm….likely satisfied in a way that would relieve all previous study tension…and then Jim would head home to catch bad guys while looking down his nose at the desperate antics of the Bureau Whore.
    I know that the times the Callie brushed him off on the phone weren’t really intentional…duty calls and all…but when she had the time to MAKE some time for Jim, she didn’t. She went out with Miranda. Again, I feel like I need to reiterate that there’s nothing wrong with her taking a break with her girls (or girl who’s trying to make up for having been a serious bitch, as the case may be) BUT int he business of long distance relationships (and, I know…I’ve been there) you need to set priorities and letting Jim know he was one should’ve been hers.
    So yeah, I think Jim/Matt’s huge female fan base will just end up turning on Callie…if they go that route…and definitely on Stark. I mean, we’ve already turned on her. ;)

  • http://twitter.com/hockeybychoice hockeybychoice

    Why does Stark have to ruin everything we’ve worked so hard for?!

    I mean.. you know what I mean. I want my fun snarky show back. I want confident adorable in-love Jim back!

    The promo did give me proposing vibes and not break up vibes, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Honestly though, the heart of the show is Jim/Callie, and they need that base for it to work on a more human (non stupid case) level. Didn’t they learn anything from Season 2??

    Stark is a shitty person. Colour me surprised! GTFO bitch, no one wants you here anymore.

  • B A

    I do agree it is a one sided relationship with poor Jim doing all the work and getting little in return. He is a good and thoughtful boyfriend that Callie should be grateful to have. Callie should never have dejected his offer to visit her in Atlanta. He knows she is studying so he is probably not expected too much – he just wants to be near her!
    Anyway, I think that Callie’s behaviour is strange ever since she said ‘I love you’. Maybe she is scared again? Whatever the reason, she should at least tell Jim, similar to that time in the swamp episode when she blurted out why she was all weird around him the last time.
    If Callie is being written out (maybe Kiele is not returning to the series), I would rather see Jim single (definitely not with slutty boss lady) and back in the field with Carlos and Daniel – just like the arrangement in season 1. Jim can then meet someone new who has less baggage. He deserves some happiness (if he were real, then he should be with me ;)).

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