I kind of feel like the Russian gymnasts who got silver and bronze in the All-Around about last night’s episode. The writing was good, the performances were pretty great, but it just didn’t quite get there for me. And I’m kind of upset about it. Not every single episode is going to be a Gabby Douglas*, but they had been so good lately, this one just felt a little lackluster.
*It feels a little wrong to compare this show to sweet, smiley 16-year-old gold medalist, but we all know an effective analogy when we see one.
As always, the human-only storyline mirrors the Wilfred story line in order to teach Ryan some valuable lesson, and as always, the Wilfred story line was far more interesting and entertaining. While out to lunch with Kristen (I had wondered where she went), who still hasn’t had the baby, but who has, surprisingly dumped Arturo to the curb, an old friend of Ryan’s comes up to them. He’s all excited to see Ryan, and starts dropping all these inside jokes on him, and it just feels weird. Of course the awkwardness is because Ryan is feeling it pretty hardcore, too, so it’s not just me.
He invites Ryan out for a drink later, but Ryan kind of hems and haws because he and this guy, James, used to work together at his father’s firm. They were going to quit on the same day, but instead of walking out, James took a promotion. And Ryan has harbored a grudge every since. Of course Wilfred suggests just talking to the guy, and hearing his side of it. Wilfred always has the best advice. And that’s the human-only (mostly) side of it. This is where things get weird.
So Jenna, for some reason, is in this weird doggy dancing class? Where she dances with Wilfred? I don’t own a dog, so, dog people… is this a thing? Like, that actually exists? I mean, it’s one thing to have, like, a playgroup, but a dance class… that culminates in a dance recital? For dogs? Alright, alright. Suspend my disbelief and all that. So anyway, of course Jenna can’t make the recital, but Wilfred won’t know the difference right?
First of all, I am so freaking thankful that she said that, and didn’t ask Ryan to take Wilfred instead. Because, honestly, as she was saying she was going to be out of town, I was thinking, “but how would a dog even know that there’s a dance recital?” But of course Wilfred of all dogs, does know, so he asks, begs, pleads with Ryan to take him, and Ryan begrudgingly agrees.
And thus we are gifted with a brilliant Footloose-esque montage of Wilfred teaching Ryan to dance. I really wish there were some gifs of this somewhere because it was awkward and amazing. Amawkward. Awkmazing. Of course, things were ruined when Ryan accidentally jerked Wilfred off while massaging a cramp. Ryan really needs to remember that Wilfred is a dog.
He’s rightfully creeped out, and thinks that a happy ending is what Wilfred is after the next time they dance. Just turns out that Wilfred wants his treat. “After we dance, I get my treat. That’s how it works!” Because Wilfred is a dog, remember? Wilfred is all, “if you’d only talked to me,” prompting Ryan to go talk to James about their issues. Basically, all’s good because James had his reasons, and I think they’re pretty legit. (*COUGH COUGH* STUDENT DEBT *COUGH COUGH*). So everything is just peachy.
In the tag, Ryan and Wilfred are smoking again and totally forget about the dance recital. So they have a wildly imagined one of their own in the basement. And at the end Wilfred gets his churro. I mean, really, churros are delicious, and I’d be pissed if I didn’t get one after dancing too. He takes a bite and offers it to Ryan, who goes for it. And Wilfred grabs his hand and shoves it toward the churro. HA! God! Who hasn’t had that happen to them before? Amazing.
- “’My kids need me.’ Please. That’s bullshit. They’re like 9 years old.” – This was the first Audible Chuckle moment of the episode.
- “When people say ‘radiant,’ they mean ‘fat.’ Like, look at this tub of radiance checking me out.”
- Wilfred’s description of the first time he ever made love — to a girl dog who had just been hit by a car – was horrifying. “I could barely stop giggling also.” Fucked up. Brilliant.
- After Ryan jerks Wilfred off and is all properly horrified about it… HE ANSWERS THE PHONE WITH THE SAME HAND OMG GROSS.
- “Ryan, where are you going? Is this because I jizz-blasted you?”
- “Are those teeth in there James?”
- “We could go back to your place, but on a little bit of Sade.”
- “Churros only happen after you dance.” And after you’re done shopping at Costco.
- “This is just an empty jar I found in the recycle bin.” – Wilfred pointing out everything in Ryan’s house that he’s jizzed in.
- Fun fact –spell check changes “jizzed” into “jazzed.”
- I love that Wilfred was wearing a white vest during their dance! And they’re both wearing top hats. It’s kind of cute. And it ended with JAZZ HANDS! Or jizz hands, in Ryan’s case.
So, tell me. What did you guys think of the episode? Did I leave out any good quotes, or favorite moments? Tell me how you felt about it overall. Did you think it was a Gabby Douglas of an episode? Let me know in the comments!