Nothing jumped out at me from this episode as a good review title…I love it when somebody (usually Jim) throws out a delicious line that is filled with innuendo & double entendre and makes me giggle like the one track minded juvenile that I am. Instead, this week, I got Crackalacka…which, really only made me think of Chris Rock, as Marty in Madagascar, saying “crack-a-lackin” and that amused me. Totally not the same thing as a Connie Simpson’s alter ego but it’s what I thought of anyway.

I’m going to ignore the seemingly-innocent-turns-out-to-be-thug-kids-intent-on-breaking-and-entering-until-they-find-the-dead-body ‘cuz I do NOT love the idea that little punks are smart enough to come up with a “let’s toss a football around” “oops it landed in the neighbours yard” “let’s go look for it while we case the joint” ruse. I don’t doubt it, I just don’t love knowing kids think like that. I mean, I KNOW it ‘cuz I have kids. Mine are maniacs but they’re good, fun maniacs. Watching this makes it obvious that it’s super easy for them to get caught up in doing shit with their friends that COULD have them ending up in a back yard, where they have no business being, discovering a dead body and ending up scarred for life. Not cool. While I’m watching TV, I’d rather be in my fantasy bubble pretending that bad things like that won’t happen. So yes, I want this show to be more believable while keeping me shielded from reality. Okay!?

Carrying on.

Whose office were Jim & Manus in that has that practice putting green? Was that Manus’ or does Jim bring his with him everywhere? It didn’t seem like Jim’s office…was I just not paying attention? Whatever. We learn from Colleen that the Bureau Chief’s role isn’t really about investigating the whole department, she’s literally there to check up only on Jim ‘cuz the DA doesn’t like his methods. I guess it’s not that the he/she (do we know the DA?) doesn’t like them…I mean, who can argue with Jim’s success rate…it’s more that his methods won’t likely hold up in a court of law. So, Stark’s there to babysit/retrain Jim and, as per Manus, she’ll be riding along with him to do that. Ugh.

Stark needs to get her hands off Jim’s putter. Just sayin’. AND Jim needs to back up off of the Bureau Chief. He shouldn’t be worried about her grip. At all. And he really shouldn’t be doing the whole cliché arms wrapped around her to show her the right way to grip a club…’cuz really, we all have our own style. Right? I mean, I do and nobody had to show me. I’ve been told I’m really good…a natural.  (At golf, perverts. True story.)

And, of COURSE Callie, who should be in Atlanta, walks in (so it MUST be Jim’s office, right?) while Jim’s arms are around Stark. Why didn’t Jim know that would happen? Has he never watched an episode of really obvious, we’re forcing the hint of a love triangle on you…again, TV?? Callie’s reaction though…come the fuck on…look, I wouldn’t walk in on that and lose my everloving mind ‘cuz it IS Jim’s workplace & I wouldn’t want to make a scene AND I’d trust for a minute that there was an explanation. But, I would NOT walk in and almost back out as if I was in the wrong with a meek look on my face, saying I’d come back. Why won’t they let Callie be a little bit of a bitch? There’s a way to handle that…a simple look on the face could’ve said “I know this CAN’T be what it looks like but get off her, come kiss me, tell me how happy you are to see me and what a great surprise this is so she knows her place and walks out with a little bit of humility”. Easy. Done. Point made.

Worse than all that, after the introductions, this bitch (Stark, obviously) has the nerve to leave the office with a “You, I will talk to later, Tiger.” AND A PAT ON HIS CHEST!? Nuh uh.  Seriously, I’m not even the jealous OR possessive type…just enough of both of those to let my man (fuck…“my man” sounds so ghetto) know he’s valued, that I appreciate him and that I know he’s a catch and I don’t want to let him go. That said, I’m secure enough in me that a Jennifer Stark wouldn’t make me worry about losing my “catch”…it’s just, unless you’re a complete whore you don’t act like that with co-workers especially when his girlfriend walks in…so, in that instant, in the presence of said whore, I’d absolutely let her know her place and SHE would be the one backing out, meekly, apologizing for her inappropriateness.  Callie needs to bitch up…esPECially since at the end of the episode Bureau Bitch declines Jim’s offer for her to meet Colleen & Carlos back at his house where he’ll join them later to celebrate closing the case AFTER he goes and takes care of stuff with his GIRLFRIEND…no…that doesn’t work for Stark…she’ll just celebrate with Jim after Callie’s gone when he’ll have more time. Jesus.

I think I’m backtracking here a little bit…but, since I’m on the topic of the Bureau Chief being ridiculous & inappropriate…who the hell is she to randomly, after Jim reads a text, assume that it’s from Callie & give him the “Uh oh! Trouble in paradise? Everything okay with Callie?”. I love that Jim dismissed her with a “no, Callie’s busy, the text was from Daniel”…not that he owed her any explanation…and THAT’s my point. Do you do that? Do you, when you’re with a co-worker or even an actual friend for that matter…actually ask who they just got a text from if they don’t immediately say “Just got a text from Daisy May…I gotta pick up toilet paper on the way home.”   Maybe it’s just me…I’m not the type to care and/or ask no matter who it is, friend, boyfriend or co-worker…I just figure if they want me to know they’ll tell me.

Now this is REALLY backtracking but I’m way out of order anyway…it’s not easy to keep it all straight when we don’t give a shit about the actual cases and THAT stuff keeps interrupting our “people we love or love-to-hate on the show” scenes…but, Callie wants Jim’s help finding an old cell phone that she had that has stuff on it that should help the prosecution. I’d hazard a guess that they won’t find it in any of the places Jim wants to look. The whole thing with the cell phone recording is weird for me. I can’t remember back to when this was actually happening at Callie’s house…did she tell tax guy that she’d recorded the whole conversation? How else would the defense have known about it? Why would Callie tell him? Was that just her leverage to make him back off? I’m confused.

Finally, we got a little Callie/Jeff scene that alludes to the fact that Jeff KNOWS that Callie & Jim enjoy naked hugging. An actual conversation where Jeff told his mom that he knows and is happy for her as along as she’s happy would’ve been nice…but whatever.

Sadly (not really), I think that that’s it for this episode. There weren’t any fun/cute/adorable Jim & Callie moments…they kept getting interrupted. Whatever. Looks like the stuff that Callie’s got coming up with possible charges & being forced to come back to Florida is not going to be fun…I mean, I want our couple to be reunited but not at the cost of Callie’s career. Jim visiting Callie in jail won’t be fun. Mind you, maybe there’d be conjugal visits and they probably wouldn’t get interrupted there…

I usually try to avoid the promos for the next week’s episode before I write my recap/review ‘cuz who knows what you’ll end up seeing & I don’t want to be spoiled before I write…but, I did see the clip for next week…Jim, naked (I assume), in a steam room getting all testosterone-y with a badass. Finally something to REALLY look forward to.

What’d you think?