Did someone request tickets to the gun show?

If, like me, you sometimes feel a tad guilty for loving a show as ridiculous as True Blood, take comfort in the fact that intelligent, highly respected, Oscar-winning actresses like Jodie Foster love it too, and they also hate the same shit about it that we do:

Well, I do love True Blood. I’ve seen every single episode, and I will rewatch every episode before I watch the new season,so I do love it. I guess that’s my geeky side. What would I ask [the cast and crew at Comic-Con]? “Why are you guys so great?” I don’t know. Actually, I’m sure I would be like, “Why’d you have to go and do the fairies? The fairies were lame!” [Laughs]

Clearly, she’s a few episodes behind and has yet to see the evil smoke monster, which is busy making the fairies look highbrow, but still – I love that she loves the show and especially that she hates the fairies. Because, obviously.

As usual, there was a lot going on in this episode (none of which involved Steve Newlin, however. Three weeks in a row is NOT COOL, show) and some of it was awesome while some of it was…not. But I have to say that even the stuff I didn’t really like was a bit better than usual. The smoke monster was still terrible (does it really need a FACE and HANDS???), but I liked that the big scene here was the emotional one between Terry and Arlene rather than the actual Ifrit. Sure, their argument/discussion was kind of crazy, and for that I’m going to have to cut to a segment known as REALLY?!? with Seth and Nicole (Seth is absent this week):

REALLY, Arlene? You live in a town teeming with werewolves, vampires, demons and fairies, but a curse is just too far out in left field? REALLY?!? I mean, you were married to a crazed, vampire-hunting psychopath who has visited you from the dead to warn you about your new husband and now that your new husband is acting all cray, you just can’t believe it. REALLY? You have participated in a town-wide sex orgy at the base of a meat statue offered as a sacrifice to a bull god, and THIS is too crazy for you? REALLY?!?

But all that being said, the scene where Terry reluctantly left Arlene and his children was well-done and emotional. Too bad everything surrounding it was such bullshit that it’s hard to care.

Also bullshit but surprisingly more enjoyable was Sookie and Jason’s foray into Baz Luhrmann’s Fairy Sex Club. This place is so right out of Moulin Rouge and/or Romeo + Juliet that I kept expecting this guy to show up:

Actually, I would kind of love that. Mercutio would be GREAT for Lafayette, who is seriously hurting for some fun. But back to the sex club. First of all, I think that Claude’s father might be a former boxing champion or at least a huge fan, because he has clearly followed the George Foreman Child-Naming Strategy. There are about a dozen kids, and all of them have names starting with Claude. Claudine, Claudwina, Claudette, Claudescope, Claudhopper…you get the picture. Second of all, Claude confirmed Hadley’s claim that the Stackhouse parents were killed by a vampire, and that it happened on the set of The Vampire Diaries. Remember what happened to Elena’s parents? Well, picture EXACTLY that, except instead of Elena in the backseat it was a band-aid with Sookie’s blood on it.

I feel like we can kind of guess how the season is going to go from here: Jason will seek revenge for his parents’ death and discover that the killer was someone we’re already familiar with, possibly causing Sookie to protect them from her brother (at this point I’m guessing Bill, but it could be anyone). Is it wrong that I’m hoping against hope that it’s not someone critical to the show because I couldn’t stand to see them kill off Jason in the ultimate showdown? The character of Jason is so stupid and naïve that it’s easy to forget how fucking great Ryan Kwanten is in the role. The dream conversation with his dad was so well-acted and vulnerable that watching it basically made my heart explode with sympathy and protectiveness for him.

The Lafayette arc had some big improvements this week since they finally allowed him to interact with someone other than his religious idols and Jesus’ severed head. But most of the credit here goes to Alfre Woodard, who is just AMAZING as Lala’s mom. I know that she must have restrictions on her time being a big important actress and all, but I would love it if she was in every episode of this show forever.

Shifters, shifter, shifters…killers, killers, killers…I still don’t care about this. Although I was surprised to see both Sam AND Luna survive the shooting last week. And it was kind of heartbreaking to see Emma in puppy form scratching at her grandma’s door (I always sympathize with animals over people on tv and in movies. Especially cute baby animals). Luna finally agreed to let Emma stay with her werewolf grandma temporarily and just THANK GOD that this very important make-believe custody issue seems to have been solved. Sam and Andy are now teamed up to hunt the Obama-mask wearing crazies who are are turning killing supes into a sport. And it doesn’t bode well for my other love, Hoyt, that he seems to know these dudes and they decided to save him from a sad, pathetic life of fangbanging while dressing like Justin Beiber.

Okay, onto the main show. BIG things are happening with the AVA Council. Eric and Bill successfully brought down Russell and handed him over to Roman, who fast-tracked plans to execute him. Salome was super obvious about wanting some alone time with Russell and nobody seemed to notice. The Council member who handled Russell’s transport clearly also has Sanguinista leanings (RIP Doug the construction dude and the bus full of other humans). Nora seems to actually believe the Lilith worship rather than just pretending like I’d previously thought. And finally, HOLY SHIT ROMAN IS DEAD AND RUSSELL KILLED HIM!!!!!

I totally did not see that coming – did anyone expect that they’d kill off Christoper Meloni’s character only halfway through the season? Now the questions is, who exactly on the Council was working against Roman? Clearly it’s not just Salome (although she no doubt is the one who ‘forgot’ to activate Russell’s iStake and also probably fed him so that he’d be able to overpower Roman and his thigh-sized arms). Is it possible that Roman was actually in the minority here? Is the Council being infiltrated from the inside? We know that the other dude is evil, and the little kid was bloodthristy too. At this point the only ones I’m actually still trusting are Barb from Cougar Town and VampMac, because they seemed way too surprised by the turn of events to be guilty.  Pleaseohpleaseohplease let VampMac team up with the regular characters for the rest of the season. VampMac 4 Eva!!!

The back and forth between the ‘glamouring’ of Sookie and the glamouring of Alcide was hysterical to watch. As Bill used the opportunity to basically tell Sookie that he loves her and wants a lifetime of happiness and sunshine for her without him, Eric used it to cockblock Alcide from her magical fairy vagina. You could draw all kinds of conclusions about how the dichotomy contrasts Bill’s maturity and his true love for Sookie with Eric’s selfishness and his mean streak. But all I got from it was that Bill can be SO BORING and Eric is hilarious.

Incidentally, Eric healed Alcide with his own blood, so you know what that means! Heads will be exploding all across the land when Alcide has his sure-to-be-happening dirty Eric dream. And if it doesn’t happen, heads will roll, because TB audiences remember this shit. And if they think that everyone is just going to forget that these two are now supposed to have imaginary naked times together, they cray-cray.

There were a lot of great lines tonight – here are some of my favorites:

• Yes, Missy Pam. (I fucking LOVE Tara right now, you guys)
• You might as well be praying to leprechauns or unicorns or the motherfucking Kardashians!
• Jesus looooooves you, even if you is an abomination.
• Did you just…recoil from me?
• And now I’m being hunted by an evil smoke monster that wants to kill me and everyone I love.
• In the name of my ass.

Okay, that does it for me – hit the comments with reactions to the big Roman news, predictions for the parent-killing vamp (despite all things to the contrary, I think we can discount Rebekkah, Damon, Stefan and Klaus), and more!