Wilfred. I’m a social butterfly. I need to be where the people dance.


I really enjoyed last night’s episode. Last week I talked about how much I like the surreal episodes, but this one is a prime example of how to use the straight weirdness (the dog stuff, the one-liners – as opposed to acid trip-style stories, which I do love) to the show’s advantage.  Honestly, I keep waiting for the “dog stuff” to start getting old, but they manage to keep it fresh and entertaining even when you know it’s coming. I mean, who didn’t see the old slipping on the polished floor bit coming and ending disastrously? I kind of want to cuddle and pet Wilfred too – and then promptly disinfect my entire body.

I think I might have identified a bit of why I wasn’t too keen on last week’s episode: Ryan and Wilfred were at odds. “Yes, of course they were. Aren’t they always?” you say. But it was different. They were at odds because Wilfred was angry, and I like it better when he’s trying to be friends. In last night’s episode, Jenna and Drew appear to be out of town for a few weeks (thank god), so Ryan is dogsitting Wilfred. Which is why Wilfred calls him while Ryan is at work, both a) getting ready to leave on a date with Creepy Chick, and b) getting fucked gently with a chainsaw by his boss. In a typical dick move, the boss is all, “I need this review by Friday. How about Thursday? Let’s make it Wednesday.” What a dickweasel. And because Ryan is a major pushover, he totally gives in and cancels the date.

Luckily for everyone Ryan no one involved, Wilfred has just the advice: Ryan needs to stop letting people walk all over him. Okay, maybe I was a little hasty with that sentence because this is actually good advice. Of course this is exactly what Wilfred does every single day of their lives, and manages to convince Ryan to take him into the office. And it actually turns out better than you might expect. Everyone is all excited about the cute dog, and they’re all petting him, and he’s showing them his balls. It’s adorable. Even Jeremy, the cranky boss seems calmed and he even tells Ryan to just get him the report “whenever.” WHAT. If I knew it was that easy, I’d totally have been throwing puppies at my bosses for years!

This allows Ryan to leave early, so he and Creepy Chick (whose name is Amanda, but something about her creeps me out so I may never call her that) make it to Happy Hour. They’re having nice little “I’m turned on by how smart you are,” “I can speak Latin” flirtiness while Wilfred is telling the tale of how fucking adorable and awesome he was in the office today to a flock of seagulls. The best part of this whole scene is when he finishes (with a story of how he got Scotch tape stuck to his paw), starts to walk away then runs at the birds all, “I’LL KILL YOU!”

So the next day, hoping Wilfred will have the same effect on Jeremy as the day before, Ryan brings him back into the office. But showing his balls to everyone isn’t having quite the same charming effect on everyone as it did the day before. Now, he’s just in the way. He comes into Ryan’s office all upset that his bits aren’t working anymore, and if he can’t entertain then they’ll just bring in a foosball table that can. Ryan agrees there are many foosball tables that are just looking for work and Wilfred – in one of my favorite parts of the episode — just turns to him and says deadpan, “Suck my dick, Ryan.” GOD. It was just so unexpected and perfectly executed. Amazing.

So Wilfred, in desperation, comes up with the slipping bit I mentioned earlier, which bombs, and Ryan also gets a shitload more work dumped on him, which is due TOMORROW. Wilfred points out that Ryan is letting Jeremy walk all over him like he lets his father walk all over him (at the beginning of the episode, Ryan receives an invitation to some event with a note from his father telling him he has to attend). Ryan may be an adult, but underneath he’s still just a little child who wants daddy’s approval. Wilfred said it more offensively than I did, but you get the gist.

But of course Ryan still takes it, and goes home to work on the review. Ryan wants Wilfred to come back to the office to charm Jeremy again, but Wilfred won’t come until he’s come up with a really great idea. Wilfred has some work to do too. And here’s where the “dog stuff” actually gets really amusing. He has a corkboard set up with index cards displaying all his ideas for bits. He’s trying to get Ryan to help brainstorm while Bear is taking notes on a laptop. God, Bear. How did we go a whole Winter without Bear? I love him so. But Wilfred is getting frustrated. After Bear “comes up with” a half-baked plan, Wilfred yells at him for his shoddy dictation skills (“Forty-five pages of lowercase H’s?!”), and covers him with his sex bag does he doesn’t have to look at him. And EUREKA! He’ll get his head stuck in a bag!

Side note real quick: Can you just imagine a real dog having this sort of board meeting with himself? “How can I make my owner think that I’m adorable so that when I knock over the trashcan or trash the house, I don’t get punished?” That’s totally what they’re doing all day long while you’re at work.

Ryan and Wilfred go back into the office the next morning. Ryan goes into Jeremy’s office so Wilfred can be all adorable and get him an extension of the review, but Wilfred is trying to impress the rest of the office people. But then Ricky, the slow janitor comes in and totally steals Wilfred’s act by pretending to be a dog with a bag on his head. It is kind of funny, if not a lot awkward, and Wilfred and Ryan adjourn to the bathroom where Wilfred is enraged. I don’t know why, but I could not stop laughing when Wilfred rages “Slow Piscopo stole my act right out from under me!”

Just then Ricky comes in, and things turn ugly. Wilfred continues to rage, and ends up biting Ricky’s face. Ryan keeps him from telling anyone, but Ricky basically blackmails him (which surprised me, and I thought maybe it was all an act) into doing his job. Which Ryan does. Because he’s a fucking pushover. But then he has a moment while Wilfred is chastising him for “doing a shit job at that shit job” when he realizes he’s DONE. With Jeremy’s shit and his father’s. Just done. So he rushes into Jeremy’s office ready to demand to be treated better, and Jeremy just gives it to him. Whatever he wants.

Well, that was incredibly easy. Ryan thinks so too, and is just marveling at it – I guess he thinks it was probably all his own inner strength or whatever, but when he has to go get Wilfred, who ran into Jeremy’s office again, we find out just why it was so easy. There’s Ricky… on his knees… behind Jeremy’s desk. Oh, yeah. THAT’S happening. And Ryan’s going to take next week off too. Possible? “Very, very possible.” HA! I love when things work out for Ryan. And Jeremy is a douchebag, so yay for blackmail! Oh! And Ryan RSVPs “no” to that invitation. You go, Glen Coco Ryan Newman!

Random Thoughts/Quotes

  • One of my favorite scenes of the whole episode is when Wilfred calls Ryan at work and is just tearing up his living room while asking him, “Did you have anything interesting for lunch? Did you have spicy sausage? Did you fart? What did it smell like?” in that girly way. I hate that I’m using that word to describe the way he’s talking here ESP in the context of WHAT he’s talking about, but that’s how he said it. And it was hilarious.
  •  “One man’s trash is another man’s Feng Shui. That’s why I left that pool of yellow water by the southeast door.”
  •  “I’m a social butterfly. I need to be where the people dance.”
  •  “Jeremy rubs me the wrong way, literally. Against the grain, from tail to head.”
  •  “Those idiots wouldn’t know adorable if it corner them in a holding cell and raped them with a plunger handle. That reminds me. Bear, can you pick up a plunger before our next date night?” WOW.
  • “Slow Piscopo stole my act right out from under me!”
  •  “Shouldn’t you be out terrifying white water rafters with your banjo music?!”
  • GOD the dog moments, like when Wilfred keeps attacking the mirror in the bathroom, KILL me.
  • Re: how the Chinese don’t fall off the face of the Earth: “It’s not magnets; it’s gravity.” “And it’s in their shoes? “ “Yes.”

This episode had a lot of good lines, but I wonder something. Is Ryan ever going to learn? I mean, the humor (not the mention the plot) kind of goes away if Ryan stops needing Wilfred to help with him with life struggles. But I wonder if this is what the show is going to be, or if the characters are actually going to develop and change over the course of the show. Last week, I thought maybe they would what with Wilfred hating Ryan, but this week they’re back to normal. Don’t get me wrong – I flove this show, but I just wonder. And are they just going to drop the whole “why can Ryan see him and no one else can?” thing? Because I think that’s part of why I loved the premiere so much. Because as confusing as that shit was – seriously, it answered NO questions – it was still entertaining and, honestly, fucked with us. I always loved that mystery about the first season. I’m just curious where the rest of the season will take us. Because the way this show goes, I have no effing clue.

What do you think? Do you think we’ll ever find out why Ryan sees Wilfred as a man in a dog suit? What did you think of this episode? How many of you would have fallen for the ol’ head stuck in a bag gag? Will Bear ever buy that plunger before his and Wilfred’s next date night? Let me know all your thoughts down in the comments! Need I remind you that comments are blogger food? I’m fucking starving, people!

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