The worst case of Stockholm Syndrome ever.

And episode two has reconfirmed something I realized last season. I  love Wilfred so much more when it’s balls-to-the-walls, batshit insane. Like last week. Not that last night’s episode didn’t have its funny moments, but I think I love the surrealism of this show the most. I know. It’s a man in a dog suit. If that’s not surreal, then what is? But, you know, the MORE surreal stuff. Like last episode when we had the weird vision of Wilfred as a snooty horn-rimmed bespectacled courtroom reporter.

Amazing.

Ryan, predictably, has many issues with this. 1) Wilfred initially acts like he doesn’t remember Ryan, but explains that he’s just tired of their one-sided relationship (which makes me laugh), 2) Drew will be around more, and 3) Jenna does not seem happy about it. He suggests to her that she break it off, but after that doesn’t turn out well, he instead turns his attention to rekindling his bromance with Wilfred.But anyway, the whole theme of the episode was “letting go.” Ryan finally reunites with Wilfred in the real world, but Wilfred has changed drastically. I guess a summer spent in the forced company of Drew the Douche Extraordinaire in Wisconsin could do it to anyone, but Wilfred comes back a Drewsciple. And it’s really gross. And now we’re going to have to deal with this crap for a while longer because Drew is officially moving to L.A.! (Wait, WHAT?! NO MORE SHEBOYGAN LAGER?!). Because turns out he and Jenna are going to get married after all.

Wilfred does sort of have a point when he tells Ryan that he doesn’t want to deal with his problems anymore. He’s not Dr. Phil (he’s Dr. Wilfred, but presumably only on Friday and Saturday nights). If he’s going to be friends with Ryan again, then Ryan has to be willing to sacrifice things for Wilfred. This all makes sense, but I’m a little disappointed that Ryan just sort of takes it and doesn’t confront the accusation with skepticism like he should. Like he never sacrificed anything for Wilfred. SIGH. But I guess that is sort of Ryan’s personality, with the whole everything is his fault, don’t-rock-the-boat-type of attitude. Either way, when Wilfred says that he’ll scratch Ryan’s back if he scratches Wilfred’s belly, Ryan goes along with it, and finds himself trying to score steroids off of Don Swayze, who typically only accepts payment in the form of blowies, but just this once will accept $150 and a really long, creepy hug. That was definitely my favorite scene in the whole episode. That probably says a lot about me, but we’re not going to dwell on it, mmkay?

The reason Wilfred wants the steroids is so he has a chance to compete in the Kibbles ‘N’ Bits Health Challenge (for dogs, just to be clear). But right before he’s set to compete, Ryan has a crisis of conscious and doesn’t let Wilfred takes the steroids – because he’d rather let him go as a friend than see let him harm himself. And this is an epiphany moment for Ryan. And, I don’t totally follow. Wilfred fails horribly at the competition, getting only a “Participant” ribbon (he DID knock shit over and pee on everything), and after Ryan tells Jenna that he’ll block out his whole weekend when their wedding comes up. So… he’s… letting her make a horrible mistake… and… keeping her as a friend? I mean, that’s the real problem, isn’t it? Letting her marry Drew? But I guess Ryan sees that by letting her cause turmoil in her and Drew’s relationship (possibly by his implanting ideas that she should break it off), that is harming her. He’d rather lose her (not as a friend, but as a romantic interest), than see her hurt because she broke off an eight-year relationship with Drew. That is just tragically fucked up.

Ah, as is life this show, eh?

In the end, Wilfred wants to put the empty steroid bottle in Drew’s luggage, but Ryan convinces him to just let it go. Something tells me (perhaps the fact that there’s an entire season left, basically) that’s not going to happen.

Random Thoughts/Quotes That I Enjoyed

• “Hellz yeah! Catch is the SHIT!”
• “Drewish Community Center!”
• “Memory is like the Packers when they’re behind by 2 touchdowns in the 4^th quarter. It comes back.”
• “There’s a beautiful lake there [in Wisconsin]. I took 37 shits in it.”
• “Ry-am woman, hear me roar.” GOD just like Drew. Hate it. With a passion.
• Ah! So I totally forgot to mention Amanda, that doctor chick in Ryan’s office, is in one scene where she hits on Ryan majorly hardcore, and it doesn’t really seem to be working. It’s really awkward and filled with her trying to convince him how cool and ironic she is. When he turns her down, she’s all, “You know I’m just going to go have sex with whoever is in the men’s’ room. There’s that edgy sense of humor again!” And… this could either be really entertaining, or really painful.
• Really impressed that Jason Gann is jogging in the dog suit.
• “I’m Dr. Wilfred and I only call myself that when I’m DJing.”
•  “R-R-R-Ry-sharonah!”
• “This is how friendship works, Ryan. I scratch your back, you scratch the area directly above my penis until my leg goes apeshit.”
• “I’m going to look just like that Kathleen Turner dude.”
• “Slob this guy’s knob.” One of my favorite phrases ever.
• I really cannot stress enough how much I loved the Swayze/blowie/’roid scene. Good to know that in back alleys, blow jobs are worth roughly the same as $150and a long hug. “I want it to be tender like we’re sisters at a funeral.”
• “We get it, Beans. We all know you have tasty balls. Don’t flaunt it.” Wasn’t Beans the name of the weird kid on Even Stevens? If you know what Even Stevens is, I just ruined that show for you forever.
• “More steroids equals more championishness.”

So, tell me. What did YOU think of the episode? Go ahead and tell me I’m crazy because that is the funniest shizz you’ve seen in a while. Or, you know, don’t hesitate to agree with me. That’s allowed too. Tell me what you thought. What were your favorite moments? Did I leave out any of your favorite quotes or moments? I’m not above begging for comments, people!*

(*that’s me begging for comments. Pretty please?)