Before we get to tonight’s episode, let me do a quick breakdown of last week’s “Longworth’s Anatomy” that regretfully, I missed.  I had recording technical difficulties…power outages off and on all night…it just wasn’t working out for me. The parts that I did see did not get me all jazzed up to dig deep, find the episode online & dissect every scene…so this’ll have to do…

If I HAD done a full recap last week, it would’ve been called “You Take the Front and I’ll Take the Rear.” Just thought you should know. It’s important.

I’m going to skip over the case stuff ‘cuz we’re already on to the next one so let’s start with Daniel. Weird to start there, right? But, he was a huge part of the storyline this week so that’s what we’re doing.

So…Daniel almost had a girlfriend but he cockblocked himself with his morals & shit. I mean, if he’s going to work with the police department he did the right thing in ratting out his crush using her personal, confidential “stuff” that made her seem more than a little suspicious against her. He should’ve known, like we do, as soon as she started LOOKing suspicious, she’d be totally innocent. And, even if it was painful watching him be awkward around Erica…maybe she’ll get over her hurt, understand he was just doing his duty and staying loyal to Jim & Carlos, his two true loves that can never really be, then she’ll realize that nerdy is the new cool, forgive Daniel and get her geek on. (I hate myself for saying that.)

Jim & Callie. I love that we started with the two of them getting her Atlanta apartment ready. So cute. I also loved that throughout the episode they established the way that Callie will still technically be a part of the show…a little glimpse into her world in ATL and her catch up calls with Jim which still involve them discussing/working through his case(s). I like it. But will it be enough with Manus’ sexy Bureau Chief friend “Jennifer Stark” running around with her high heels & pencil skirts catching everybody’s eye? Ugh. I hate her already.

I kinda feel bad for Callie all by her lonesome in Atlanta. I mean, I know in the grand scheme of things it’s only a year…which can fly by pretty quickly and she’s doing it to provide better opportunities for herself & Jeff…but still…she’s SO lonely. She broke my heart at the end when it was obvious she didn’t want to hang up the phone and then went digging for Jim’s shirt to sleep with. Awwww! And, the fact that her attending, Dr. Buckley, is such a bitch (with reason, I guess…whatever) isn’t helping. Would you think less of me for halfway wishing that MAYbe Callie’ll get so tired of being alone AND lonely & dealing with Dr. Bitchley that she’ll hightail it home to Jim & let him take care of her for awhile? Shit. I know that’s wrong…I am woman, hear me roar, stay in ATL & get your education so you can take care of yourself, Callie…blah blah blah. I’m just scared that next week is going to drive me crazy ‘cuz we’re gonna have to deal with the Bureau Chief just being there and obviously ending up being some little snag in our happy little Jim & Callie lovefest. Can’t we just be happy for a minute? Grrr.

One more thing from this episode…why is it so disgusting to watch Carlos cut into a cadaver with a scalpel even though we know it’s fake? Or is it just me?

Okay. Going to watch tonight’s episode…you’ll wait here?

Alright…I’m back with “The Naked Truth.” Lemme just say that I hate it when I’m tidying up my canoes & I find naked dead girls.

Poor Maggie…she’s our dead body this week but really, she won’t be getting much attention here ‘cuz I’m way more excited about the REAL opening scene…you know, Callie & Jim, post-coital, sweaty, happy and Callie guilty ‘cuz she lied to Jeff about her flight time so she’d have some alone time with Jim. Which, look…I’m a mom…I’m single…I’d totally lie too. No problem, no guilt. If we’re not happy we can’t be happy for our kids so go ahead, Cal…be happy. However you have to do it.

And then…Jeff shows up to see Jim and I really kinda loved the whole thing. The fact that Jeff knows he can go to Jim to borrow $75 for some school thing and feels no way about letting himself into Jim’s house with the keys Jim gave him AND talking to Jim about Tina Honeycutt  and how they “almost” did it which really meant 2^nd base even though she was totally okay with him rounding 3^rd but he didn’t ‘cuz it “just didn’t feel right.” Which…good for you Jeff, don’t do things that don’t feel right…would you mind having a chat with my son? He’s gonna be 16 in a couple of weeks and totally came home this weekend with giant hickeys on his neck and I had to explain that if the little whore did that to HIM that she’d probably do it to other unsuspecting teenage boys too and did he really want some little strumpet (thank you Kol Mikaelson) as his girlfriend? I didn’t really need an answer to that…he’s gonna be 16. Of course he wants a little strumpet. But I digress.

Back to the bottom line…yes, I loved the Jim/Jeff interaction even if the whole 2^nd/3^rd base talk seemed a little forced on Jeff’s part, a little awkward on Jim’s part…especially knowing that Jeff wants his mother to NEVER know about this conversation and Jim knew she was RIGHT there…but, I suppose it would likely be awkward no matter what. I’m not sure if I missed the point or not, though…was Jeff just sharing to share? I’d have to watch again but I don’t think he asked for Jim’s advice or anything…also…why was Jeff drinking soda first thing in the morning? WAS it first thing in the morning? I guess not if Callie said her flight was in the morning…she & Jim had time to frolic and THEN Jeff came by…so maybe it was mid morning…still…soda? Ugh. Teenage boys.

So…glossing over most of the case stuff, like I do, I want to point out that it happened it a nudist colony. Or naturist colony. Whatever. The biggest thing that alarmed me was the potluck lunch (dinner?) they had. I want to state for the record that I never want to eat at a potluck/buffet style meal in a nudist colony. And, I say that after having stayed at one of the Hedonism resorts (there were two, there’s only one now) in Jamaica once upon a time ago. Okay…it wasn’t THAT long ago…but listen…I went with a girlfriend…we got a wicked deal. Seriously…we almost didn’t take it ‘cuz we didn’t know if we could be comfortable in that environment but it was too good to pass up. I can’t lie…some of the shit I saw was un.be.liev.able. For real. Stories for days. We’ll talk in the comments if you’re curious. For the most part though, it was just a really laid back environment…nobody cared what anybody else was doing…there was a “nude side” and a “prude side” and we totally stayed on the prude side…BUT…the buffet…man. The buffet was a common area and some of the things that people thought were okay to wear, or not wear for that matter, in an open food environment…? Not okay. I only ate at the a la carte restaurants OR off the resort at some of the local places.  So, my point, that whole scene with Jim & Phil at the potluck just brought back some bad memories/visuals from an otherwise amazing vacation.

I love that Callie was less whiny on the phone with Jim this week…until the end when she’s telling him how much she’s REALLY missing him and he tells her he misses her too but can’t say it back the second time ‘cuz now stupid Jennifer Stark is hovering in his office. I mean, who does that? She could see he was on the phone. Totally rude. And then she’s all “ohhhh, Jim…I’m in a long distance relationship too…perhaps we should console each other.” Obviously she didn’t exactly say THAT but she might as well have. Look…if you’re in a long distance relationship, back off Callie’s man, go home & have some phone sex with YOUR man. You’ll feel loads better. Bitch.

Oh…also, we found out that Miss Bureau Chief is there to observe the station’s practices ‘cuz they’ve got the best success rate of blah blah blah….what this boils down to is J.Stark interviewing everybody and everybody stroking Jim’s…ego.  So…she’s gonna stick around and keep her eyes on him. Jerk.

Okay…I’m going to keep this short-ish…so let’s end on a couple of little things I picked up on and enjoyed:

Did you notice that Jim totally looked the naked Ginger chick (what was her name? does it matter?) in the eyes when they first met with Carlos but Carlos kept checking out her chest? Pervert. Love it.

Jim’s take down of the naked, running Phil was brilliant.

Daniel totally nursed his hurting broken heart over Erica by blatantly gawking at nekkid chicks. Good job, Daniel…most guys would go to a strip club but YOU get to hang out where naked bitches live AND you didn’t half to pay for grossly overpriced drinks, $20/song lap dances OR a cover charge!! Well done!

Finally, Carlos was all stressed out about having to go into the nudist colony and Jim says: “It’s not cheating if you’re only looking.” I’m wondering if Carlos’ wife would agree. What do you think?

Come say “hi” in the comments….yell at me for missing last week if you want…it’s okay, I can take it!