I kind of feel like any mental hospital with this man as a doctor should not be an accredited institution.

As you may or may not be aware, FX totally aired a new episode of Wilfred last night. I know. I was confused too. All the advertisements say that the season starts next week on June 28^th, but at 10:30 last night, sure enough, there it was. I mean, even the Wilfred page over at FXnetworks.com says it starts on the 28^th! According to The Wikipedia, which, as we all know, is the most reliable website in the history of everything, definitely lists this episode as the first ep of the Season, though. So… Yeah. Basically, someone (FX) needs to do a better job with consistency in advertisement.

But confusion aside… YOU. GUYS. Wilfred is back! And it was just as spectacularly fucked up as it was last season. You can read my full recap of last season’s finale here, but to sum up quickly: Wilfred isn’t real? The basement was boarded up? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! And that’s right where we pick up with this episode. Only… it’s four months later, and Ryan is in a mental hospital. He’s still inexplicably wearing street clothes and his doctor is Robin Williams, but he is taking meds, and at the beginning of the episode Patch Adams thinks Ryan is well enough to receive visitors – Jenna and Wilfred!

Wilfred, who was hit by a car in the finale while Ryan was switching our Jenna’s pee with “clean” pee for the drug test for her lawsuit (that was a mouthful), is now in a motorized wheelchair, which GOD. Ridiculous. The point of this? The meds clearly aren’t working. But more importantly, Wilfred tells Ryan that he’s willing to tell him everything: who he is, why he’s there. It’s time he gave Ryan some answers. But of course Ryan’s all “STOP! I don’t want to know anything.” Because that would be too easy. Wilfred tells him that instead, he’s going to have to dig for the truth. Like Wilfred did. Literally. And he made it all the way to China some wires, too. “I don’t know words, Ryan.”

And it’s at this point that pretty much everything goes to hell. Patch Adams is generally being pretty shady, and ups Ryan’s medication, which Ryan tongues because he’s starting to not trust him. Meanwhile, Ryan’s having these weird-ass fuzzy dreams where he’s at work, and he can’t escape, and it’s all very stressful. It’s like this stay at the hospital isn’t making him better at all. So Patch decides it’s time to up the ante again and start Ryan on some shock therapy. But then he says something weird. He tells Ryan “it’s not your fault,” which is totally a line from Good Will Hunting. Allegedly. I saw that movie a long, long time ago, and all I remember about it is math and “I got her numbah! How do you like them apples?!” But I’ll trust the writers on this one.

So in the chaos of realizing the doctor is actually Williams, Ryan makes a break with the help of an orderly who is played by Kevin from The Office. He shoves Ryan into a shady van… and then pulls of his Brian Baumgartner mask and it’s Wilfred! And Bear is driving! WHAT THE FUCK. It’s at this point that Ryan realizes the hospital was the dream, and the dream about work is the reality. Wilfred is all “yesss,” as their van is heading straight for a brick wall. I’m half-expecting them to be all, “w]What do you wish you’d done before you died??” and Wilfred would be like “Paint a self-portrait” and Bear would be all, “Build a house!” But instead, Wilfred tells Ryan he’s got to find Wilfred’s will in his basement; he’s just got to break through it. And am I the only one who thought of Willy Wonka’s Great Glass Elevator at this point?

So, Ryan wakes up in the middle of a meeting where Steven Weber is his boss, and Allison Mack is his coworker. He walks out of their meeting all disoriented and runs home. When he pulls open the basement door, it’s still a closet. BUT WAIT! He sees light coming from a seam, and busts through the dry wall with a bat. It leads to the basement. And in a filing cabinet, he finds Wilfred’s will. It says… pages and pages of nothing! NOTHING! But the very last page just says, “Keep digging.” Oh, we will, show. We will.

Okay, so before I leave you with some random thoughts on favorite moments and quotes, I have a lot of questions. I should probably know better than to question this show too much. It’s fucked up, and requires a lot of suspended disbelief, but… Yeah. I guess the question now is who covered the entrance to the basement? And why was he in the dream-state in the mental hospital? Did he never stop working at the firm? And thereby never actually met Jenna and Wilfred (judging by the quick shot we saw of Jenna and Drew smooching it up in the driveway, Ryan never did meet her). BUT THEN HOW IS ALL OF WILFRED’S STUFF IN THE BASEMENT?!

WORM HOLE! I CALL WORM HOLE!

Random Thoughts/Quotes

• Rob Riggle making snoring/gurgling noises is what my nightmares are made of.
• Once again, the dog things that Wilfred does remain some of the funniest. While in the wheelchair, he is adamant that he shall not be defined by his injuries and he doesn’t need to be waited on. But then makes Ryan pick his poop up with a little baggy.
• Wilfred saying he dug a hole for so long, and so deep, he reached China! “It was one of those shiny underground Chinas.” “You mean ‘wires’?” “I don’t know words, Ryan!”
• “Will someone get this Tic Tac from under my wheel? There’s a bloody Tic Tac under my wheel!”
• “Without you, I have no purpose. I’m nothing. It’s like I don’t even exist!” HA!
• “FRISBEE! FRISBEEEEE!”
• “Where’s your wheelchair?” “Really? That’s your first question?”
• “Where did you get this van?” “We hot-China’d it!”
• Bear driving the van has to be one of the funniest images ever.
•  “Frankly, I’m surprised we haven’t all gone a little crazy.” That kind of felt like a reference to The Shining since they couldn’t leave that meeting room. Incidentally, Weber played Jack Torrance in The Shining miniseries, which I always through was WAY scarier than the Jack Nicholson movie. If you haven’t watched it, you should.

So, tell me. What did you think of the (real) premiere of Wilfred? How does it stack up to your expectations? Did you have any for this season? What other guest stars do you hope they work into the show. WTF do you think is going on. Come on, people. Comments are blogger food, and I’m starving!