Ay, dios mio!

So, I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to eloquently begin this recap, but fuck it. Last night’s episode was funny, but not funny enough. It had the same hackneyed jokes that have become SO predictable. It actually makes me angry that I can say the jokes out loud, but have to wait for the agonizingly slow set up, before finally hearing the joke that I already said out loud anyway. This happens a lot. Like Haley’s whole thing about taking a “gap” year. UGH. The episode did have its moments, though. Last week in my recap I railed against how this show doesn’t do heartwarming up to par anymore even though I know it can. Well, the last scene with Mitchell and Cam definitely was heartwarming, and it’s exactly the sort of thing I’m looking for with them. The episode as a whole was okay, but it doesn’t change my mind about not recapping this show next year. Oh, and the season finale cliffhanger? I… just really don’t care. There, I said it.

So, let’s just do the quick and dirty, eh? Alex, is going to prom, and her date is super gay, but doesn’t realize this yet. This provided for a few pretty good gags, especially posing for the “flash” photo. But the whole point of Alex going to prom was that Haley was NOT. Instead, she’s actually being very adult. She tells her parents that she applied to community college already, AND she has an interview at the mall (the aforementioned Gap joke). Also? She’s cooking dinner for Dylan and invited her parents to it. But that’s only to butter them up because she’s going to drop the bomb that after graduation, she’s moving in with Dylan. This goes about as well as you would expect, which is horrible. Claire and Phil spent most of the rest of the story line trying to convince her that moving in with Dylan is going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea – one that results in wrinkles and dull, unshiny hair. Luke, though, saves the day by admitting to Dylan that he’s a mail hoarder, and Haley actually did get into the college that waitlisted her. Dylan is happy for her, but has one request: that they go to prom. So wearing borrowed clothes (Dylan in Phil’s double-breasted tux… because he too is double-breasted), they go. Yay.

Mitchell and Cam get the call from the adoption agency that their “mother” is giving birth, so a for-real yay! But because they have to go down to a “border” town, they can’t go to Lily’s dance recital, so they leave her with Jay and Manny (and take Gloria because she speaks Spanish). This ALSO goes about as well as you would think… except that we get to see more of Jay being an awesome person. 1) I love Jay and Manny bonding over building a model plane, and 2) I LOVE that Jay got up and danced with Lily on stage. It was cute. And I love Jay.

Okay, so onto the baby story line. The baby’s family is Latino, I’m assuming Mexican. So OF COURSE this turns into a fucking telenovela. It was actually kind of funny at first, what with the sexy priest busting through the door, and the slutty nurse being all slutty. But, it got kind of old fast, and… it worked, but just barely enough. Because my greatest concern here was that once the abuela showed up, I knew it was all over for Mitchell, Cam and their hopes of a Latino baby. The silliness of this storyline was really well played. Sincerely. Because the emotional pay off at the end, was just… it was fantastic.

Having the camera trained on Cam as he’s struggling to swipe is credit card, while Mitchell just… walks away in the background was great. And I’m so happy that we got to see this emotion from Mitchell, the absolute stress of everything just rolling off of him. You gotta give it to Jesse Tyler Ferguson for this scene. It was touching, and heartfelt, and had nothing to do with the fact that Mitchell and Cam are gay, but everything to do with the fact that they are human beings. They have hopes and dreams, and it reminded us just how much it fucking HURTS when something comes in and changes all your plans. It was my favorite bit of the ENTIRE episode. And the joke about the rock at the end was just an excellent topper.

Random Thoughts/Quotes

• “How cool would it be if you turned into Wonder Woman right now?” “Can’t even talk about it.” LOLS. Love them.
• “Proms are lame. It’s just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in Limos and hump each other.” FACT.
• “Frio. Muy frio.”
• God, Phil teaching Alex to dance. This is from my notes: “This can only end in the White Man’s Overbite.”
• “Arms down here say ‘I’m white and I’m sorry,” but arms up here say ‘You don’t know what I am.’” “I don’t.”
• “That bed’s a double-pigger.”
• “All the cool kids were totally laughing with us.”
• “Are you doing sex?”
• “…allen wrenching a bookcase called the NÜRK because you couldn’t afford the SKLÜRG.” HEY! You do NOT make fun of IKEA, okay?!
• “I think I’m lying on a rock.” “I’m lying next to my rock.” AWWW.
• The John Malkovich-Siri commercial was kind of disappointing.
• Gloria’s pregnant. I… just don’t care.

And that concludes my last Modern Family recap. It’s been real, readers. So, what did you guys think of the episode? Things you liked, or didn’t like? What was your favorite part? What ELSE do you think Luke is hoarding in his room? Did you also have high hopes for the John Malkovich commercial, but found them dashed? What did you guys think of the season as a whole? Are you in or out for next season? I’ll still watch it’s not exactly appointment TV for me anymore. Let’s convo in the comments. And don’t forget to check out Nicole and SB discussing what THEY think of the show in their Year-End Wrap Up!