Mad Men: Jaguars Are For Closers

Lane is underwater with the Inland Revenue, big time. Like, JAIL, underwater, it seems. We see him trying to shake down some kind of sketchy private banker for a loan, purportedly for SCDP. Oh, Lane. This is a bad, bad idea.

Kinsey (remember Kinsey? looked like Orson Welles?) is trying to get together with Harry. Harry’s dodging him. When we eventually catch up with Kinsey, he’s a freaking full-on Hare Krishna. I hope they’re offering him at least a three-episode arc, or that he didn’t actually shave his head for the part. Harry is dying, basically. Dying. There’s a hot Hare Krishna lady who looks a lot like a young Juliette Lewis had a baby with Cobie Smulders. Harry’s warming up to the whole idea.

Lane calls a meeting to inform everyone they have a “surplus of fifty thousand dollars,” which, incidentally, is the exact sum he just borrowed on their behalf from the private banker. Lane suggests they use this unexpected sum to hand out bonuses. Pete: “What ghost visited YOU, Ebeneezer?” (He’s convinced they’re going to land the Jaguar account, which everyone else thinks is total, total bullshit.)

(What’s Roger doing today? Drinking and ranting about the Japanese, naturally.)

AHHHH, Roger and Joan are talking about their baby! She wants to lock him down (I assume in order to become the third Mrs. Sterling), has been sending his money back.

Back at Krishna Fun Zone, Harry’s getting worked over. Kinsey wants to leave with the hot girl and make a life for themselves. Harry doesn’t have a job to offer him, Kinsey has a spec script for Star Trek. Christ. Harry agrees to pass it along. (To Peggy, as it turns out.) It appears to be truly awful.

Don and Megan are out at an experimental play, which is partially about the evils of advertising. Don goes home in a spectacularly bad mood.

Lane, alone in the office at night, plundering the company checkbook. LANE, stop being so self-destructive! (Looks like he’s forging Don’s signature.)

The hot Krishna shows up to see Harry, who is visibly sweating. She tells him that his chanting brought out crazy sex vibrations in her. Aaaaand they’re making out. And she’s bending over his desk. HARRY FUCKING CRANE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Oh, big shock, she’s gonna blackmail him to stay away from Kinsey. Kinsey, you see, is their best recruiter.

Joan gets served divorce papers at the office, goes totally postal. Don takes her out to try out Jaguars as his fake wife to cheer her up. He and Joan have a cute drink thing. Don beats a hasty retreat before sleeping with her. But the chemistry is amaaaaaaaaazing. He’s driving drunk, obvi. But in a Jaguar. (Which, thank God, he appears to have returned safely to the dealership.)

Megan gets crazy on Don (not in the good way) when he returns home, loaded, several hours after she knows he left the office.

Harry, over lunch with Kinsey, tells him the script went over like a rocket at NBC, but it can never be produced for legal reasons. He gives him five hundred bucks and a ticket to LA to become a TV writer, but he has to leave the Krishnas. This is actually not a stupid play on Harry’s part.

Back at the office, Pete announces that Mohawk is drying up as a revenue stream for a while, so no Christmas bonuses for the partners, just the junior staff. Lane begins to twitch. Why, it’s almost as though embezzling is COMPLICATED, Lane!

Don announces that they WILL land Jaguar, and they will be working 24/7 to achieve this goal. Lane continues to twitch.

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