Pete is back on the train with his insufferable seatmate, Howard, attempting to read a book. Said insufferable seatmate (LIFE INSURANCE, UGH) is droning on about the delights of nailing 24 year-old strawberry blondes in secret city apartments.
Roger calls Pete in to tell him he’s getting buzz in the industry, hands off some freebie skis. TOTALLY suspicious, obviously. Don is feeling elderly and out-of-touch again, this time because he has no idea how to find the “right” sound for his Beatles-lookalike band for the Chevalier Blanc ad.
Megan is being completely weird. She places a secret call, then blows off Don’s dinner invitation, THEN tells Peggy she has to go to the aforementioned dinner.
Pete winds up picking up the cheating life insurance salesman’s Rory-Gilmore-lookalike wife at the train station (oh, because she’s actually Alexis Bledel, which was determined after a ten-minute argument with my husband). She’s gorgeous and lonely and depressed and takes him home and fucks the shit out of him.
Don calls in to the office, Peggy blows Megan’s cover. He calls back later, drunker. Peggy is totally horrified and has no idea what to say. Obviously, Megan is not cheating on him, right? Megan wouldn’t do that.
When Megan sweeps home, Don deliberately doesn’t try to catch her in a lie, telling her that Peggy said she was on her way to meet him. She breezily covers by claiming she met friends for drinks and lied to Peggy so she could leave work without drama. He either buys it or doesn’t want to know. Megan is visibly nervous around Peggy the next day, Peggy traps her and demands an explanation. Megan tells her she had a callback for an Off-Off-Off-Off Broadway play and didn’t want to tell Don she’s not enjoying her job. Peggy is PISSED that Megan wants to toss away her job, while Peggy fought for hers.
Megan and Don do this freaking adorrrrrable Cool Whip faux-ad routine that everyone loves except Peggy, who is filled with quiet penetrating fury.
Pete calls Beth, his miserable suburban housewife date, and tries to get her to meet him in the city. UGH, she even looks like Trudy, pre-baby. Fuck it, Pete, pull it together! Beth tells him to lose her number, it’s too dangerous. Pete has a really cute, pissy conversation with Harry Crane in which they talk around the outskirts of his lady problems.
Megan wakes up Don to tell him about the audition. He is not taking it super well, but supports her. They go in the next day and announce that she’s quitting. Peggy is ferocious on her behalf, despite having been angry about it the previous day.
Don puts Megan in the elevator, and notices that the door to the next elevator has opened on an empty shaft. He stares down it. It’s pretty fucking ominous.
Pete, the self-destructive douchebag, tells Howard he can pitch him a life insurance policy OVER AN UNEXPECTED DINNER AT HOWARD’S HOUSE. So, you know, the wife is horrified and terrified and he kisses her when Howard is out of the room. What a loathsome creature. Loathsome.
Don comes home to a barefoot wife in the kitchen. They’re still happy.
Rapid scene shift to a glum Don sampling various frozen toppings with Peggy and Ken. Don and Peggy have to perform the Don-and-Megan routine, terribly, terribly, terribly together in front of the Cool Whip people. It’s like a car crash. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. He’s making it worse. AND THEN, DON AND PEGGY HAVE A MASSIVE FIGHT ABOUT MEGAN THE MINUTE THE COOL WHIP PEOPLE LEAVE AND KEN NEARLY DIES FROM EMBARRASSMENT. Roger soothes him some later, over drinks. Some.
Pete is alone in the hotel room he told Beth to meet him at. She doesn’t show. Obviously.
At home, Megan hands Don a copy of “Revolver.” I really hope it changes Don’s life. Why wouldn’t it? He plays “Tomorrow Never Knows,” which is not even that great. Pete glowers at Beth at the train station, she traces a heart on her car window. Song in, song out.