Last night’s episode of Revenge, “Absolution,” gave us a lot of really giant things. Not least of which is the fact that Nolan’s wardrobe becomes BLAND and SAD when he is not in the Hamptons. It was really depressing. But we also learned that there is a SECRET JOURNAL that Nolan kept from Emanda, royally pissing her off, and that Jack is finally getting his shit together, and that Ashley is headed down a very dangerous, albeit shiny and cushy, road. And that Daniel is a Family Man. But that really isn’t all that shocking.

Also, there is the case of the Porter brothers wearing similar clothing early on in the episode. Look show, I get that they are brothers, despite the fact that they look fucking NOTHING alike, but do we really need them to go all Tenenbaum with the matchy-matchy? I mean. C’mon, wardrobe people.

But I suppose I shouldn’t fixate so much on the wardrobe and pay attention to what is actually going on in this crazy-ass show. Which is mostly the Daniel Grayson trial ending. After the Incrimating Hoodie Guy was arrested, the judge dropped all charges against Daniel and let him go freeeeeee. Which angers the masses to the point that they start an “Occupy Daniel” campaign and it becomes a trending topic on Twitter.

I won’t lie, at first I laughed at that, but the more I think about it, the more I think it’s an interesting addition to the show. It’s easy to forget that if these people were real, they would be like . . . I don’t know the Kennedys or Chelsea Clinton-Whatever Her Last Name Is Now because they are rich and well-connected. And the trial would be a BIG ASS deal in the media and, given the current economic climate, could produce that kind of rage from people. I guess.

Anyway, it’s an interesting thought. But then it begs the question of Emanda being in the public eye since she is the fiancée and I know they sort of dealt with the publicity aspect of the engagement at one point earlier in the show, but don’t you think some enterprising journalist, maybe like the one on Scandal, would dig up info on her? Ok, I’m over-thinking this. I’m stopping that now.

Anyway. Daniel has protestors who enjoy graffitiing cars with the word “Murderer.” So that’s fun.

So I’m sure some of you were thinking, “Now that Daniel is freeeee, what happens next? This ship has to sink right?” Turns out, A LOT happens. No word yet on the sinkage issue.

The Porters

• Jack is fearful for Declan since he lied on the stand, and thinks the Graysons will come for him.
• Nolan assures Jack that Declan is barely a blip on the Grayson rader. Jack, who is suddenly all kinds of over Amily, which I’m fine with, asks about Emanda and if she knows what she’s marrying into. Nolan tells Jack to talk to her about it.
• So he does. Jack finally lets Emanda know that he might know more than she realizes re: The Incriminating Hoodie and the Graysons. Except, not really, since he doesn’t know she did it. But whatever. As he’s about to spill All of the Things, Daniel calls her on a cell (I assume it was his lawyer’s? I don’t know.) from prison  and tells her that they dropped all charges against him. She immediately leaves to go pick him up at prison. Wah-wah, Jack.
• A little later on in the episode, Declan totally pisses off Charlotte by telling the admin people at school that she’s popping all of the pills, thus getting Charlotte suspended, thus getting Charlotte to tell her dad to pull Declan’s tuition. So, Nolan gives Declan the money for tuition. He insists on it and basically says that he’s paying it forward (from David Clarke).

Emanda

• Emanda is obviously consumed with figuring out who the Graysons hired to kill her dad in prison. But, she decides to be a decent secret half-sister and goes to check on Charlotte for a brain break. But, she finds out that Charlotte is trying to find out more about David Clarke. Her room is covered with everything about him on public record. Emanda sort of softens at this and she and Charlotte are talking and then Charlotte shows her a photo of dear old dad on the day he died that she found in V’s jewelry box. In the photo he’s writing in a notebook, which raises questions for Emanda since she knows she’s never seen that notebook. So, Emanda stealthily snaps a photo of it.

• Emanda straight up attacks Nolan because he withheld information from her. Nolan insists that he promised to protect her father’s legacy. I feel like that’s the key here. Nolan isn’t necessarily interested in protecting Emanda or the Clarkes, but the legacy of David Clarke. Hmm.

• So, in this episode we get a David flashback (or, um, an Emanda imagining David in a flashback), which hasn’t happened in quite awhile. But David knew he was going to die and was pretty sure who would kill him. In the flashbacks the killer is dressed as a U.S. Marshal and brandishes a shank. David also wrote about someone called CM who would supposedly bring proof to him. Turns out CM = Carole Miller, who is also deceased. Emanda doesn’t like answer.

• The search engine she uses is called GOQUESTGO. Oh show.

• After using GOQUESTGO, Emanda figures out where Carole Miller’s medical records are. She she dons glasses and a white lab coat, breaks in after hours, and goes through records at the hospital. She ends up calling Carole Miller’s primary care provider (oh health terms), who says that he had a Carole Thomas, but not a Carole Miller, who matched the description. And that Carole Thomas is alive and well.

• So then of course Emanda goes to visit her and says she’s from DHS and needs to talk to her about Conrad Grayson. Carole was Conrad’s secretary for 18 years. Then Emanda asks about David Clarke as she looks at pictures on the mantle. And I’m all, “Is that Nolan in that picture?” AND THEN Carole pulls a RIFLE on Emanda. And NOLAN comes downstairs, wearing terrible Old Navy-esque clothes. (Not that Old Navy is terrible. I shop there. But compared to his usual sartorial sense, this is a DEPARTURE.) Turns out that Carole is his aunt. AND THEN HE INTRODUCES EMANDA AS AMANDA CLARKE. NOLAN!!!!!

• And then we get some Nolan backstory. He dropped out of MIT, moved in with Carole, and that’s how he met David. Carole started asking questions about the David Clarke biznass, and realized that the CFO of Grayson Global knew about Conrad’s involvement with the plane crash. When she and Nolan realized all of it, Nolan headed to the prison to tell David, but he was already dead. So Nolan called Carole and told her to vacate, and then they faked her death and changed her name. And, as it happens, Carole knows the guy who was behind both the plane crash and David’s death.

The Graysons

• Victoria stares at her painting. Ugh. Conrad shares my annoyance. He says, “If I had known you were such a masochist, I would have rubbed the salt in your wounds myself.” Oh Conrad. I don’t like you, but I like that line.

• We’ve already established that Charlotte is still buying pills, but it’s so bad that the dealer/ fuck buddy tells her to pull it together and stop doing so many drugs and skipping so many classes. Because people are starting to talk. She says she’ll stop when the trial is behind her family. Oh honey. That ain’t true and you know it. After Charlotte is suspended, V is obviously upset about it, but (praise God) she’s more concerned about her daughter’s health than she is about what this will do to the family name. Then she finds the photo of David in Charlotte’s room. So V takes Charlotte to the cemetery and they talk about David. She and Charlotte have a little moment wherein Charlotte asks her mom if she loves her, and V tells Charlotte that she loves her because she’s David’s child. And it’s touching and sweet and also sort of really sad that Charlotte didn’t know that, but then again, V is not the warmest person on the planet. So they’re all having their Mother-Daughter time, AND THEN they see the rose on the grave that Emanda put there earlier. This freaks them out. I’m sure V will be all up in arms about Amanda Clarke again soon.

• Other things Victoria did this episode: cashed out her Grayson Global shares and told the SEC that her husband is basically a terrorist. This is a BIG DEAL.

• Daniel returns home to the could be considered prison-like Grayson Manor. Emanda tells them all about her car sitch and the protestors. Ashley informs them all that the story about Daniel isn’t dying down and that the Post and Treadwell’s anti-Daniel articles are all being reposted. Emanda suggests that Daniel sit down with a national news show and tell his side of the story. Everyone agrees that this is wise. But, Daniel insists he take some time to rest and clear his head before making any decisions. Which is also wise. They’re like owls, these people.

• Then, Ashley formally gives her notice to Victoria because she is going to a media relations position at Brooks’s law firm. However, she agrees to stay on with the Graysons until everything with the trial is over. BUT THEN, Ashley’s new job is rescinded. Mr. Brooks tells her he can’t hire her because he knows she leaked the photos of Daniel from the beach to the press. Conrad overhears all of this.

• Jack (JACK!) goes to Daniel, gives him Tyler’s phone, and tells Jack that he was the one who dragged Tyler’s body on the beach. Jack swears he doesn’t know who killed Tyler, and that it most certainly wasn’t him, and that the Incriminating Hoodie was his and not Lee Moran’s. Then Jack tells him that he thinks the Graysons hired Moran to frame Jack and that Daniel owes it to Emanda to tell her the truth about his family before she marries into it. Oh, Jack. I like you so much. And I want you to be entirely clued in because you are too sweet for all this shady dealing. Alas.

• So, the SEC investigation moves along quicker than I expected it to and they start investigating during this episode. So, Conrad sits down with Daniel and tells him that the family is on the verge of catastrophe. Daniel says that Conrad owes him the truth. Emanda listens to the convo via one of her bugs, and Conrad actually comes clean. He tells Daniel that V paid someone to arrange his prison beating, and that that someone was Lee Moran. Daniel knows the confession Moran wrote wasn’t real and that Conrad had Moran killed to protect the family. Then Conrad asks Daniel to promise that he will rebuild the company and protect Charlotte. Then he starts telling Daniel the truth, beginning with what his family did to David and Amanda Clarke. Emanda listens to all of it. And I suppose that Conrad told the truth, but I really don’t know since the show went to commercial break.

Event of the Week: Daniel’s Primetime Interview

• Emanda tells Daniel to say whatever he wants. V does not agree and calls her self-righteous. Oh Victoria. *shakes head*

• The interview takes place in Grayson Manor. Of course it does. I’m shocked that the rest of the Graysons weren’t lurking in the background of the shot, like they did in the engagement photos.

• Daniel says that he’ll never know what happened on the beach and takes the OCCUPY DANIEL stuff in stride, saying that he understands people being enraged when they see a privileged guy like him getting off for murder. I mean, he puts it better than that. But that’s the gist.

• When asked about the SEC scandal, Daniel says that the case is a baseless witch-hunt, and that he stands behind his father as a son and as a partner in business. Oh boy. Emanda is not so happy about it. And, frankly, neither am I. But it’s good for drama and the show and all of that.

After the interview, Ashley packs up her stuff to leave. But Conrad stop her, gives her a Lexus, and a job at Grayson Global. Because he doesn’t mind someone who is willing to get their hands dirty. PLEASE GOD, do not let Ashley and Conrad sleep together. NO. (It’s totally gonna happen.)

But Emanda isn’t receiving any job offers or Lexii. She heads to The Stowaway. She and Nolan talk about how disappointed they are in Daniel for “doubling down on Grayson.” But, she remains resolute. She insists that  she’s going to marry Daniel, but now she’s adding track down the dude who killed her dad, and kill him to her to-do list.

When Emanda goes home, she sits down to watch more old video footage of Conrad. And, woudn’t ya know, there’s a brief glimpse of the U.S. Marshal who shanked her dad, who also fits the description from Aunt Carole, on one of the old Conrad Grayson videos. Let’s hope that guy becomes the next victim of the week. Because I miss those.

Alright, so that’s that! This was a pretty full episode, with lots of things. I know a lot of you had become bored and annoyed with the show, so hopefully this picked it back up for you. As always, let me know your thoughts and theories, in comments!