Hart of Dixie. You are gonna head back home and meet your new girlfriend. Bring her a donut.

April 24, 2012 in off-color commentary by offcolortv | 24 comments

Ugh, Hart of Dixie, what are you DOING?

OOOOHHHH, I get it ... the key to getting through this episode is DRINKING! Makes sense.

You guys, I’ve gotta be honest … I was so not into this and I’m going to keep it short.  I didn’t want to write it at all, but I know how everyone loves talking about this show and we obviously need a place to wail Wade’s name (although HBC‘s gif posts are absolutely the better place to revel in his sexiness).  But all my thoughts on this episode are basically in the same vein as last week, minus drooling over Justin Hartley and plus wanting to go to New Orleans really bad.

I wasn’t paying enough attention to the musical to really know what they were doing it for, although I did love cute little Tom and his new girlfriend, the redhead.  Everything else?  Filler.  And not like the cream in a Twinkie.  Also not exactly like pink slime, but definitely headed that way on the spectrum.

Lavon was the only sane person, but it was sad, and Zoe was being such an insensitive bitch to him about everything.  SHUT UP, ZOE.  You guys know how much I hate the Zoe and George pairing (also, my friend Amanda vehemently disagrees with me that he is boring and looks like a math teacher but come on, right?), and the whole New Orleans thing was SO AWKWARD for me to watch.  Like, the awkwardness burned.  I wasn’t DISGUSTED by the kiss, but I also wasn’t really into it.  Ditto all of that re: George’s singing.

The only thing that I was somewhat interested in was the further push toward Wade getting his shit together.  But even that … it felt a little sad too, right?  So, Wade: sad, Lavon: sad, Zorge: awkward, musical: boring.  Not my favorite week.  Obviously.

Ugh, you guys … am I just being a total bitch?  Did something crawl up my ass, lay demon eggs, die, and I am being overrun by demon baby ass monsters?  I don’t know.  All I know is that I am fucking hostile tonight.

Oh, and also?  Scott McCreary?  I don’t watch American Idol, and he made me really, really glad.  I mean, I expect shit like this from Hart of Dixie in general, but you’re better than this, Josh Schwartz.

So here’s your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you betta)–please talk back in the comments.  Not like sass … well, okay yeah, like sass.  Talk back in the comments and either validate my extreme bitchitude or tell me why I suck and am wrong and this episode was good.  Or tolerable.  Whatevs.

*drops mic and walks away*

Related posts:?

  1. Hart of Dixie. The “Oh no, don’t go Zoe!” Episode.
  2. Hart of Dixie. Lunch with a ninja? One more thing I can check off my bucket list!

Tags:

  • http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

    I am with you. I was waiting for Zoe and George to quickly back away from each other and just say “ew” because WHO THE FUCK thinks they should be together?  Not me.

    I am all for Wade getting his shit together but why does he keep calling his ex wife?  Past is past. Get over it already.  Plus, totally wasted I can’t remember what I did last night storyline.  It could have been epic.  

  • Kaitlin

    Whenever I see someone who ships Zoe and George I want to slap them in the face. I adore Scott Porter and always will because he’s Jason Street, but I do not care for George to be anything more than a friend to Zoe. I don’t even see any chemistry there.

  • LawyaGal

    Ugh. This episode was redonk.

    Zoe needs to get some self-esteem STAT. She’s throwing herself all over a dude who broke off his engagement to his high school sweetheart 12 hours earlier? Please. And just going along with his deluded crap because it was “destiny?” Barf.

    How is this the same women who has the self-control to resist the shirtless hotness that is Wade for months but one round of cocktails in a jazz bar and she’s off booking a hotel room with George?

    I am starting to see that Wade is right. Zoe is a selfish, elitist princess and she and George deserve each other. Wade is too good for everyone on this show. He needs to move, open his awesome bar and find actual cool people to hang out with.

    I think Jason Street is super hot – but the character of George sucks. He patronizes Lemon and Zoe, lashes out at other people for his problems and seems like a self-obsessed dick.

    Also: so now that the engagement’s off does Lemon need to get a job? Since Southern Wifehood is now off the table maybe she’ll get useful and develop as a character? Her dad’s a doctor for Christ’s sake, maybe she can go get an Associate’s Degree or something…

  • http://twitter.com/hockeybychoice hockeybychoice

    What happened to this show?! Ugh. Stupid head writer clearly has a serious boner for George and it’s ruining everything.

    Characters are so different, and not in a, “well, they’re growing and changing,” kind of way. They’re just written poorly. George is a hypocrite asshole and Zoe has turned into someone to hate. The doctor practice is hardly ever mentioned, the one year deadline for her Bluebell experiment is never brought up. Does Brick no longer give a shit about Zoe taking half his practice and half his patients?

    It’s funny checking tumblr after the episode airs to see what people are saying. The George/Zoe shippers praised the episode, saying it was the best yet, the writing was so good, blah blah excuse my vomit. Then the George haterz posted both long valid reviews saying how and why it SUCKED and also succinct little reviews like, “I just want to punch George in his stupid face.”

    I don’t really understand what Zoe’s thinking. Never mind going to New Orleans and almost sleeping with a guy who, until mere seconds ago was engaged and in love with someone he’s known all his life, but Lavon is her best friend, and she dismissed him and his completely accurate take on the situation! I just can’t. What happened to our strong female lead? Yes, she was awkward and out of place, but she had morals and ethics and friendship mattered. Maybe things all started down hill when she so easily let Judson off the hook for dipping his stick into her friend.

    Whatever. Zoe and George deserve each other. Ugh George. The whole denial act at the beginning made me cringe, I actually got up and went to the kitchen to do dishes and I never do that during HoD. I couldn’t stand his stupid face and the weird baby voice thing. Who’s acting like the child now, show? I have no ties to Jason Street so I can honestly say that nothing about Scott Porter appeals to me. Even the singing and dancing made me roll my eyes HARD. And the motorcycle? Stop trying to be cool. You peaked in high school!

    Wade. My beautiful Wade. You can do no wrong in my eyes, really. I can understand him reaching out to Tansy. It’s such a huge step in his life and he just needs someone to reassure him that he can do it. I believe in you, darling! Also, when they reference, several times, that the man was naked running around town, THEY NEED TO SHOW US. Jesus. Give me naked Wade. Side butt cheek? Upper thigh? Come on! I did enjoy the little story with Tom though. Adorableness.

    Alright, soo. Get rid of George and Zoe, and turn the show into Wade and his new bar. Or, better yet, just give Wade his own CW spin off. I’d watch the fuck out of that. Can you imagine? Wade with his own bar. Shelley can waitress, Justin Hartley can show up once and awhile, Lavon can stay as the straight sidekick to Wade’s hot hot womanizing self.

  • http://twitter.com/hockeybychoice hockeybychoice
  • Abigail_W

    With you on this, all the way. After seeing this, I’m thinking this show is not getting renewed. It was the fucking WORST. Zoe behaved like an uber idiot. The fucking napkin pin at the close, OMG, so terrible. I thought the preview for this episode looked gross, but it was even grosser on full display. Lavon was the only voice of reason, and Zoe was such a bitch to him. Why is everyone baking George cake and making him soup? The only thing I’d serve him is a hot, steaming pile of shit.

  • LawyaGal

    A Sox hat??? He is the most perfect man alive. I want a GIF of him running around in only that hat.

  • http://twitter.com/hockeybychoice hockeybychoice

     If you have 45 minutes to kill, this might please you

    I haven’t found the time to watch it yet, but it’s open in a tab JUST in case I get a break.

  • http://twitter.com/Nicole_OCTV Nicole

    Very interesting! I have to say, while I agree on certain things (Zoe is behaving like a tool, the ‘Happy George’ scene was TERRIBLE), I just don’t feel the vitriol towards George that y’all seem to. I’m by no means in favor of a Zoe/George hookup (at least not anytime soon), but I like George as a character. And aside from the show making him do that fucking heinously cringe-worthy cartoonish happy stroll at the start of the episode, I thought he was really good in the episode, totally relatable and kind of cute (really? None of you guys liked the singing? He was having so much fun! And it was 1000% less creepy that Scotty ‘Li’l Dubya’ McCreery!!!!). But yeah, that ‘happy George’ thing was fucking the worst. Why not just go full out and have cartoon birds land on his fingertips and have him singing Zip-a-dee-doo-dah??? God. Gross. Poor Scott Porter.

    Lavon was definitely the best this week. And yes, Zoe was a horrible terrible friend to him. Especially at the end when he sincerely told her that he hopes everything works out for her and she just said thank you to his big sad face instead of a return ‘you too’ followed by a hug. Because hello Zoe – you have a crush on a boy, but Lavon is deeply in love with someone is engaged to someone who doesn’t even want her anymore and yet she STILL won’t give up on him. Tragic. And he had the line of the night when he told her that it wasn’t George choosing her, but rather George becoming disillusioned with Lemon. BIG difference.

    Wade’s storyline was funny. His scenes with Lavon were awesome.

    Oh, and just to piss off everyone who’s shitting all over Scott Porter because you didn’t watch FNL (looking at you nametwin and SB!) – I have no idea who Justin Hartley is, but I thought he looked like an East German lesbian golf pro. So there. :)

  • http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

    Everyone who still hasn’t watched FNL needs a timeout in the corner NOW.  Summer watching or else.  Bad people, you are!

  • http://twitter.com/hockeybychoice hockeybychoice

    I watched a bit of the first season but never really took to it. If Netflix Canada ever gets it, I’ll watch.

  • libraryofbird

    Naked WADE!!!! Perfect opening! And then down hill from there. It’s like they were throwing everything at the script to see what sticks.

  • offcolortv

    RIGHT?  Like Wesley and Cordelia!

    And OMG, so much yes to the hangover storyline. Sigh.

  • offcolortv

    HAHAHAHAHA!  I love that.  Face slapping is my fave and I’m with you!

  • offcolortv

    For real, dude.  Doesn’t she know what happens when you fuck someone in the name of sextiny?  SEX BIRDS.  Dead, all over your yard.  Please.  I know the CW is the only channel they get in Bluebell.  

    Yes to Wade being right.  And I think that Lemon still doesn’t have to give a job because she’d living off said daddy and raising his kid … I suddenly feel weird about that relationship.  Great.

  • offcolortv

    Yes to ALL of this.  ALL of it.

  • offcolortv

    SHUT UP AMAZING 

  • offcolortv

    Favorite comment of the post, hands down.

  • offcolortv

    Why ya gotta waste my flava?

  • Em

    I totally agree with Nicole on everything – especially all the Scott Porter stuff.  I don’t want to be slapped in the face though. 
    I do have to put my foot down and disagree with you when it comes to Justin Hartley though.

  • Tabby

    You are right about all of it!

    And a Wade spin off is something to dream about… This would be such a great show.

  • rachel

     Yeah, that seems to be typical for Wade fans:( George happens to be my favorite character on Hart of Dixie and I love George and Zoe together! I love all characters on Hart of Dixie but without Scott Porter I never would’ve watched the show.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amy-Wright/576785389 Amy Wright

    Uuuughhh how can anyone LIKE George and Zoe together? I like him with Lemon because she makes him show like actual emotion instead of some happy whee everything’s great attitude that happens whenever Zoe and him are together, it’s like the Mary Sue of relationships. I have being going ‘eww, eww, nooo’ throughout so many episodes and Wade is just so sweet with her like his character has freaking DEPTH but George and any other “perfect” guy Zoe desires makes her act like a total idiot with no morals and she’s always immediately incredibly in like with them when she doesn’t even know them at all, she’s so indecisive and wishy washy she might like Wade and then she likes George and oh that guy looks good let’s go after him it drives me mad.

  • buy

    On the money… Iam too sick of zoey and George

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Better Tag Cloud