WOW!!!

After the craziness of last week what will Adam & Cee Lo’s final four bring? Apparently, Cee Lo sportin’ a pimp chain. Hee! He gets beeped right away. You can’t say “Shit” on national TV, Cee Lo. Oh, and they couldn’t stop laughing because Cee Lo was passing gas. All the more reason why I love this show. Christina brought out the whore makeup again. SOMEONE STOP HER! I wrote way too much on the peformances so let’s jump right in.

TEAM CEE LO

Jamar Rogers “It’s My Life” How can anyone vote against The HIV? He was inspired by an early Cee Lo song, he never thought he’d reach 30 and he just had his 30th birthday party…there is no stopping this kid. Plus, he had actual FLAMES on stage! Oh, and he also sounded pretty amazing on his song. It was different and even an improvement on the original. I think I’ve found my favorite if he wasn’t already. The dude can put on a show. Adam said he was the first voice they heard in the blinds and that’s why Cee Lo snatched him up so easily. Blake said they were the perfect mentor/artist pairing and a great song choice. Christina called him one of her favorites even though he’s not on her team. Cee Lo takes a moment to let the crowd’s roar roll over Jamar. He then professes his undying love. Poor Jamar is reduced to happy tears. Let the man just perform and leave his emotions alone, damn.

James Massone “Just the Way You Are” Oh, the humanity. The kid is so flat in rehearsal I really want to fast forward through the performance. He sings to a lady in a doorway or a window – I wasn’t really sure. It was a giant stairway to one of those old farm doors that open on the top. They exist in the city right? The singing wasn’t really that bad. He can sing, sometimes, but I’m just convinced he’s not The Voice. Blake has been a fan of James but he didn’t really like the performance. Christina wanted something different. Adam loved it and compared him to a young Sinatra. For SHAME, Adam. Cee Lo keeps playing up the lady killer/heartthrob thing. Um, no.

Cheesa “I Have Nothing” Oh, boy. Taking on Whitney is a big gamble. I don’t know. I really feel that just because you can hit the notes doesn’t mean you should sing her songs. She had some bad notes but overall it was very well sung. As Cee Lo says, she is a power vocal. The girl can SING. I just don’t think she needs to sing Whitney. Christina talks about the huge shoes that have to be filled whenever anyone tries to sing Whitney. She was actually very impressed with Cheesa and the fact that she hit notes even Whitney didn’t go for. Cee Lo loved it, of course, and talked about his want for women to make a comeback in music.

Juliet Simms “Cryin” OMG. Cee Lo is just fucking with us at this point right? Giant wings? White feathers raining from the sky? Insane! Does the singing even matter anymore? She was flat a lot and growled even more, but does anyone care? It was a PERFORMANCE. Christina said Juliet looks like she blacks out up there and I can see what she means. Juliet looked drugged out during the song and then fine while hanging with Carson. I am perplexed by the crazy bird woman. Blake loved it because it reminded him of duck season. Oh, Blake, never change. Cee Lo went off somewhere even Adam didn’t know what he was talking about.

Group Performance “Dancing In the Street” Cee Lo and his awesome staging. He’s amazing. The black and white TV prop was great and Cee Lo wearing a wig is never not funny. LOVE. Juliet Simms didn’t know what in the hell was going on. She either didn’t sing when she was suppose to or she sang the wrong words. Cheesa and Jamar were great. The whole thing was fun and to the caliber I expect from Cee Lo.

TEAM ADAM

Katrina Parker “Jar of Hearts” Someone got extensions. It’s  disconcerting. She looks like a totally different person. The staging was a bit on the nose. A bunch of hearts? Really? Why not have a jar up there too. She made some weird choices dropping notes. Overall she sounded really good. It was good to show her doing something not Adele, but it was still slow. Can she even do an upbeat song? Blake loved it and thought Adam would have a hard time finding a song to top it. Christina started talking about herself and how she was compared to other people when she first started. Cee Lo agreed and said he has to tell people in the airport he isn’t  Brad Pitt all the time. It was pretty funny. He heard wilt in Katrina’s voice. I think it was the same thing I was taking about. Adam told her she wasn’t one of his favorites in the beginning, but now she has one of the best voices.

Mathai “I’m Like a Bird” Quirky for quirky. Adam says there’s no other song more perfect for her. I agree. It seems like something you’d expect out of her baby voice. She has some trouble with going flat…and sharp for that matter. Adam tried to distract us with the Cirque du Soleil guy, but I’m not distracted by theatrics, unless half dressed men are involved. It got better, but I’m still not a fan. Blake agrees that “Captain America” was distracting. Adam pops in and says he did not approve of that. Christina gives him shit for not being involved with every aspect of the production. Burn. She also gave him a hard time for making Mathai sing a song she didn’t believe in. Maybe he’s as sick of he as you were of Jesse. Did you ever think about that Xtina?

Tony Lucca “…Baby One More Time” Love it! I was getting kinda pissed they weren’t telling me what the song was before he started, but now I see why. They wanted to throw this in Christina’s face. LOL! No, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional to sing her biggest rival’s most iconic song. It was a coincidence. The only thing better would have been if he had done one of her songs. We all know that wasn’t going to happen though. Xtina hates to get upstaged. He really did come out with something entirely unexpected. He sang it well and got away from the rock songs Christina was dogging. The crowd LOVED it and was “Beiber loud” according to Carson. Christina stood up and started talking about getting the Mickey Mouse Clubbers back together. You can tell she’s trying to make light of it and be in on the joke. The song choice pissed Blake off because it was really smart. He loves Tony for it and hates Adam. Adam is really happy they did it and that he faced the MMC thing head on.

Pip “Somewhere Only We Know” Well, we know who Adam’s cannon fodder is this week. I totally forgot he was around. The opening notes are already better than his entire song last week. Adam was smart to give up the staging from last week. Pip was smart to get rid of the bowtie. Sitting at he piano was good for him. The slapping people’s hand without looking at them was weird. The falsetto was awful. Never, ever, ever do that again. Blake also thought the end was off. He was pissed the bowtie was gone and compared it to himself without alcohol. Hee! Adam said they talked about tightening up the end, but that it wasn’t perfect. Then he said it shouldn’t be perfect. It also shouldn’t be painful, Adam.

Group Performance “Instant Karma” How cute, they have a little band. Adam on drums, Pip on keyboard, Tony on guitar and the girls singing. Not the best song choice. It was just alright and you can’t be just alright when Team Cee Lo was a-MAH-zing. I think it’s great that Adam decided to just take a back seat and only play drums. Christina would never let her team do all the singing. They get one line..maybe. I think Tony was the best of the four.

Gold lamé, people!

Cee Lo and Goodie Mob “Fight to Win” Ever heard of “Goodie Mob?” Me either. Apparently, they were the shit back in the day in Atlanta. They had on gold lamé jumpsuits with capes. Maybe you didn’t hear me, GOLD LAME JUMPSUITS!! It was spectacular. Though they were totally lip singing, but they had weird prosthetic teeth in their mouths that glowed so they kinda had to, I suppose. The whole thing was a massive spectacle. Cee Lo’s going old school and I love it. The song was actually pretty good, too.

 Dramatic Live Elimination

Again they give the long winded person first go at elimination. Cee Lo writes a lovely speech. The man has a way with words. He hates to do it, but he lets his little brother go. James Massone is going back to Boston. Great decision Cee Lo! I’m shocked only because I thought he’d keep him for the teen voter factor. Looking at the four though he really couldn’t send anyone else home.

Adam talked about how he changed his mind and people surprised him. He wishes he were as eloquent as Cee Lo, don’t we all. He is in the middle of his speech and just kinda drops the “Pip you’re going home” bomb. I thought it was a no brainer, but he told Pip after that he didn’t know what to do. Maybe instant eliminations are the way to go? If it gets Pip and James off my TV I say off with their heads!

Now it’s your turn. Who was a-MAH-zing for you? What is with Juliet? Does Adam have a chance? Let me have it in the COMMENTS!