After almost a month, Modern Family is back! And you know what? It was a fairly decent episode, I guess. Honestly not a lot happened, but at least there were some pretty great lines. I mean, just Mitchell and Cam alone. Driving around in their hybrid, they spouted some of the best puns I’ve heard in a while. And if y’all only need to know one thing about me, it’s that I love a good pun (except news reporter puns. I detest news reporter puns). Really, the lines were the best part of the episode because the more I think about it, the more boring I realize most of the plot was. It may be realistic, but maybe the timeline of the Claire running for council thing is just done, you know? Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought that… I guess it’s good, then that, this ep was all about election day. The moment of truth is upon them! Did Claire win the spot on the council? Let’s get to recapping to find out! Or to refresh if you already saw the ep. ONWARD!
Since I already mentioned them, let’s just start with Mitchell andCam. They had their car all decked out in Claire campaign signs and drove around with a PA system set up, making up some really great and silly slogans. And they were doing a good job until they realized that they could publicly rail against people that annoy them or establishments that had done them wrong using the PA system.
Like the jaywalker, or the dry cleaners who lost Cam’s shirt, or the pizza place who does not have the best pizza in the world. While making a pit stop, they see Lily’s preschool teacher and start gossiping about her gay fiancé, but the talk button on the PA system was pressed down and the whole surrounding area heard. So they had to talk her down from “OMG and I marrying a gay guy?!” panic and tell her that they’re just jealous of such an awesome and hot guy that they just wished he was gay. Like Hugh Jackman. That made me laugh really hard, and I’m not even sure why.
In my second favorite plot line of the ep, Phil has taken on the task of driving old people to polling places so they could cast their votes, which is actually really sweet. He gets stuck with Luke’s friend Walt, who is such an awesome stereotypical old man. On the way to the polling place, he makes Phil take him to get his new glasses, he runs out of oxygen, almost forgets to take his medication, makes Phil stop so he can get food so he can take his medication, and even rants about how he doesn’t want anymore government near his house and Barrack Obama took away his driver’s license and you damn whippersnappers, GET OFF MY LAWN. He finally relents and lets Phil take him to go cast his vote for Phil’s drunk wife (which was because her tooth problems made her lisp during a radio interview. But Haley and Phil both assure people, “that’s not her drunk voice!”).
Jay’s story wasn’t quite as interesting. On the way to vote (at someone’s house? What kind of small-ass community in CA do they live in?), he spots the chick he banged and bolted after he split with Deedee. Not wanting her to catch him, he goes home, and Gloria finally gets the truth out of him. He finally braves it so that he can get his vote cast for Claire, but ends up running into her anyway, and the whole thing culminates in a pretty good “That’s what s/he said” joke.
That’s pretty much it. I mean, Gloria realizes that she’s only persuasive when people can see her, Haley gets rejection letters from all the colleges she applied to, which honestly, is anyone surprised? Though, to be fair, she got waitlisted at one school which prompted Phil to shout in triumph, “Our daughter might be going to college!” Oh, and right, the election. Well, Claire didn’t win, but Dwayne Bailey did put up the stop sign that started it all, so everyone wins, I guess.
- “High five! Old people occasionally forget things!” Luke continues to be The Best Ever™.
- “The choice is Claire!”
- “One of us had a bit of a dimpled chad situation.” “Could you show me how this machine works again,Chad?” LOL. Oh,Cam.
- “I can see Clairely now that D-wayne is gone.” Dear quote, I dub thee “Best Pun of the Night.”
- “I don’t know what they do in Colombia.” “No one does, and don’t ask.”
- “We’re here, we’re Claire, get used to it!”
- “The whole family’s high. There’s your headline.”
- “I’m a good dancer. They’ll come for me.” – Walt re: being forced to marry an man.
- “Oh my god, there’s sandy!” “Sandra bullock?” “Yes, Sandra bullock. We’re such good friends, I call her sandy.”
- Of course Manny is making cold calls on a blue tooth.
- “I’m just trying to get my ballot in the box.” “Oh, that sounds familiar.”
- Aww, they made the “Congratulations” sign say “Condolensces” underneath. Prepared for everything, this family is.
So what did you guys think? It had its moments, right? But otherwise, what did you think? What were your favorite moments? Least favorite? Did I leave out any of your favorite quotes? Cast your votes in the comments! And don’t leave any dimpled chads. Or do.