I told you we shouldn't have gone over the fence to get ball! The Beast will always win. (1000x points to those that get this movie reference.)

Last week’s Happy Endings episode might have not been the best but I L-O-V-E-D last night’s episode, ‘Party of Six’, so much hearts started shooting out of my eyes Peppy Le Pew style. I identified with so much (except the getting caught having sex in public) that I’m starting to wonder if the writers haven’t been secretly stalking me for years. I doubt it but it was like bits and pieces of my past were coming alive on the screen so needless to say I was thoroughly entertained for the entire half hour. Oh, and, we can’t forget all the one-liners that had me rolling! Like Dave’s, ‘Does this make me look like a tree?’ because spoiler alert it did. I could relate to his concern though since I once cussed out some of my best friends for dressing me like a fucking watermelon (lime sweatpants and fuchsia pink top) after a night of chugging tequila from the bottle and running through a sand volleyball game, stealing the ball, and then passing out on the in court. I couldn’t help but bitch them out because one of my life rules is do not dress like a plant/vegetation. Both my friends and Dave failed at this.

Anywho-who, this episode pretty much deserves ALL the gold stars. There wasn’t a single thing I hated or got annoyed by. All the characters were the best versions of themselves. Yes, even Dave who we all know would be the first one voted off the island if the tribe ever speaks… or thrown off the cliff Piggy style if they ever go all Lord of the Flies. After last week, we can all agree Jane would be victorious in either scenario. What really made me happy about last night’s episode was that the storyline was a nice throwback to the pilot with the celebration of Penny’s 29th birthday (again). It also gave us a timeline. One year has elapsed in the Happy Endings universe. Oh how time flies. I’m getting all misty eyed just thinking about it all, especially Brax. I could gush all day about this episode but let’s relive the glorious moments together, shall we?

(FYI- This recap is going to be broken down differently this week because it’s the only way to talk about what happened in what I feel like is a coherent way.)

The group was back in a singular storyline to, like I said above, celebrate Penny’s 29th 31st birthday which may or may not be cursed thanks to a long history of terrible things happening on it. With a simple premise like that you knew that hilarity was bound to ensue. First order of business for the group was trying to decide on which restaurant to eat at after Penny informs them that their first choice, Big Dom’s, was taken by an ex-boyfriend in a custody battle after the break up. After a failed Superman analogy by Weeping Willow Dave, Alex’s brain suggests Medora to which everyone readily agrees because they were fucking starving, especially Max who decided to save all his calorie allotment for dinner.

After arriving at Medora, everything went downhill from there. Cue the Birthday Curse’s path of destruction (broken down in easy bulleted points for your pleasure):

• Max points out Jackie, Dave’s ex-Girls Gone Wild: High School edition hook up, who just happens to be their waitress for the night. Don’t feel too bad for her. She graduated and was saving up money for stripper college so she can then save up to go to junior college.
• Jane and Brad get in a fight after someone suggests they go El Agave to avoid Jackie and her “special attention” towards their food. It turns out El Agave was Brad’s break up hot spot and he took Jane there when they were dating. You know, to break up with her. Just one question: where were the dreads and Gwen Stefani get-ups? PS- Don’t worry they make up with some bathroom sex.
• Penny’s Altima’s tires are slashed by Jackie who thought it was Dave’s. (Side note- If you have followed me for any length of time on Twitter then you know I own an Altima too. You’ll also know that I hate the motherfucker because it’s prone to problems especially flat tires. Which may or may not have been done intentionally by some neighbors at one point. Knowing all this you can bet your ass that I fucking DIED at the Altima situation because that is my life y’all. I also realized that Penny & I are kindred spirits. Fuck.)
• No one ever gets to eat the delicious food because they’re always being kicked out of restaurants (except Taters but we’ll get to that in one second) whether it’s because Jane and Brad are caught mixing his bangers with her mash in the bathroom or because Penny loses her shirt to the table in the middle of Big Dom’s. Hey, she just told her ex that she was taking back in the restaurant that he won in the break up so I think the manager could have cut her some slack.

Eventually, the gang ends up at their safe place, Taters, where Jane and Brad finish what they started in the Medora bathroom and the rest of them fill their bellies with grub. It honestly looks like the curse had been broken but then some crazy gypsy shows up and puts some Freaky Friday voodoo on the four chowing down.

You guys, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this episode except to say that it was perfect and I loved it all. It took all the classic birthday comedy shticks and improved on them. Also, I just really loved how they came full circle from the pilot. I’m a sucker for continuity, so shoot me. Definite rewatches will be occurring as I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of ‘Party of Six’.

Other thoughts/observations:

• Dave referencing Never Been Kissed and casting himself as Drew Barrymore might be my favorite thing Dave has said. Also Dave, how do you go to a prom when you’re thirty? My high school had a strict “No one older than 21” policy in place for all school dances in conjunction to a “no having sex on the dance floor” policy. And yes that did happen.
• I love Alex so much now you guys! Her “Miracle” speech was a thing of  brilliance. Plus, I just really love that movie.
• Snarky Max is back!
• The slow-motion walk into Big Dom’s is my favorite Happy Endings moment ever. Also I really need a cool theme song to play when I walk into places like a BAMF.
• I must find out Alex’s workout secret that allows her to eat as much as she does and stay so fucking skinny.
• Jane telling everyone to arrive an hour earlier than they really need too is such a Jane move. Also I need ALL her accessories.
• How the fuck could Brad ever think about breaking up with Jane?!
• I am SO going to try to build a straw harpoon one day.
• FYI- I totally worked with a couple of dudes who introduced their eggs and Benedict to the customers Eggs Benedict. I prefer Brad’s play on Batman and Robin- “Sackman and Throbbin’” for this situation though.
• Jane keeping newspaper clippings of her ice skating days was crazy and hilarious. I bet she keeps them for a pick me up which she totally needed last night.
• Really guys there were so many great moments in this episode I cannot remember them all.

Favorite Quotes of the Night:

• “You can’t just go around Daylight Savings-ings people.”
• “Curse of Max’s love handles has struck again.”
• “I don’t remember you speaking any Spanish that night. In fact, instead of ordering tacos you asked for meat, lettuce, and cheese in one of those crispy, half-moon envelopes.”
• “Restaurants don’t have windshield wipers.”
• “I once ate a bunch of peanut butter I found in a mouse trap and it did not kill me.” (I LOVE peanut butter but even I would not do that.)
• “We gotta branch out. Talk about restaurants that maybe don’t exist. For example, where does Gollum eat?”
• “Now she’s back to Miracle? She’s having a tiny stroke!”
• “If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name ‘Mary Tyler Moore Tyler Moore Moore Moore’?”
• “…I don’t want anyone to tell me “Careful the plate is hot” because I know the plate is hot. It’s a sizzling plate!” (Word Jane.)
• “If we didn’t want to get caught, we’d just have sex at home.” (Such exhibitionists Jane and Brad are.)
• “Bitch is still young.”
• “Wait…Darth Vader was a Nazi?” (Is this how the whole Stars Wars vs Harry Potter debate started amongst the writers?)
• “Tonight, we’re gotta bring da noise and, time permitting, also da funk.”

Webisode!

Don’t forget to check out this week’s webisode here. It was directed by Zack Kingston, aka Dave, this week. But only go watch it after you’ve read the post and commented here otherwise the link will take you a video of Celine Dion singing “My Heart Will Go On” which you won’t be able to escape from EVER.

Okay that’s it for me this week. Talk to me in the comments so I don’t have to beg. What did y’all think, did you love it or hate it? You loved it, right? Do you drive a shitty Altima too? Would you have given up your favorite restaurant in a break up? Dave’s chin monkey would totally give him away if he ever tried to play a high schooler, right? Was Alex not your favorite? Did you want all of Jane’s accessories? What did you think of the webisode?