Pull on your leather hot pants and plop on your Jesus wig, it’s time for The Voice!
TEAM CHRISTINA–Geoff McBride VS Sera Hill “Chain of Fools”
Sunglasses indoors all the time (because of an eye injury, I know, I know) and Christina’s impromptu duet partner are facing off. Geoff gets to meet Lionel. Even Lionel is put off by the sunglasses. He suggests wearing contacts or something. Jewel is the “no emotion” police. She wants to FEEL dammit! Christina calls Sera’s runs “crispy.” Sera thinks her deep connection with Christina will make her a shoe-in. Doesn’t the girl know Christina was just loving Christina during the blind audition? You know Xtina loves to hear herself sing. They harmonized really well. As my husband said, though, Geoff didn’t get to sing as many of the good parts as Serah did. He did find some glasses that let us see his eyes. Cee Lo liked Geoff’s control. Blake wanted to pick who turned him on. Christina goes with her gut. SERA HILL
TEAM BLAKE–Charlotte Sometimes VS Lex Land “Pumped Up Kicks”
Two I don’t really remember. Charlotte is kinda, I don’t know, annoying? She says she’s not as good of a singer and Lex has bigger boobs. AWKWARD! Kelly Clarkson “gets” to listen to Charlotte. She says she likes her voice. I don’t believe her. Lex gets a huge compliment from Miranda. She is told her harmonies are awesome. I know which horse I’m backing. Product placement time! Apparently Miranda is the only one they can get to sling the Kias because once again she’s leaving a voicemail for the artist she mentored. Charlotte wants to win, win, win, win, win. I want her to lose, lose, lose, lose, lose! She of no chin irks me. Lex is super dressy, compared to Charlotte, and her alto is amazing. Charlotte’s hamming is
only slightly totally annoying. Lex is my pick but Blake never sides with me. Christina calls Lex’s voice sexy. Cee Lo liked Charlotte. Adam chose Lex. Blake, par for the course, goes with CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES.
TEAM CEE LO–Juliet Simms VS Sarah Golden ”Stay With Me”
Sarah is worried and Juliet is over confident. Cee Lo thinks Sarah is the dark horse. I’m not really sure Babyface and Sarah are a good mix. Cee Lo likes the styling, ie the yoddel, and Babyface thinks she should keep it country. Juliet gets funk face from Ne-Yo. He tells her not to blow her wad to early. I might be paraphrasing here. During rehearsals Cee Lo can see that Sarah is getting lost in the song. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to sing Rod Stewart either. Juliet came to the battle as Flashdance hippy and Sarah gets to be a caterer waiter. I feel bad for Sarah. I don’t think Cee Lo or the wardrobe department gave her a fair shake. Juliet sang Sarah under the table. Blake throws her a bone but everyone else liked Juliet. Cee Lo tries to make it seem like a hard decision…JULIET SIMMS.
TEAM ADAM–Whitney Myer VS Kim Yarbrough “No More Drama”
Two powerhouses going at it. Adam uses the logic that in order to win they have beat each other ANYWAY. Whitney gets to kick it with Alanis. She is really lacking confidence and they try to encourage her to be herself. Kim duets with Robyn Thicke. He thinks she needs more tension and to contain the beast. She looks at him like he’s speaking Klingon. The song starts and all I can think is “As the World Turns” like I do everytime I hear this song. I think Whitney is trying a little to hard in her verse with the growling. Kim really does hold back in a good way. They both harmonized well. Blake called it one of those diva concerts and even let out a “Son of a Bitch”. He didn’t know who to pick. Christina and Cee Lo split. Adam calls KIM YARBROUGH the winner.
TEAM CHRISTINA–Lee Koch VS Lindsey Pavao “Heart Shaped Box”
These are Xtina’s two unique voices. Lee is playing the guitar, which I love, and Lindsey LOVES Nirvana so she has a leg up. Lee and Jewel are a good match. He doesn’t really know the song enough to put his stamp on it. Jewel gives him really good advice. Woah! Christina looked REALLY orange in the shot of her and Lionel from the back. Yikes! Lindsey doesn’t know who Lionel Ritchie is…don’t fret girl, he’s super old and no longer relevant in todays music. She knows the song, but isn’t connecting with the audience. Lionel shows her how it’s done. During the battle they both sound like their singing with marbles in their mouth. Enunciation is not their strong suit. Lindsey also needs to work on breathe control. I could hear every single time she sucked in. They didn’t harmonized well at all. Cee Lo had a few Lee as Jesus moments while watching the performance. Blake has never heard the song and throws out the title quote. He picks Lindsey and for once someone sides with Blake! Christina has LINDSEY PAVAO on her team.
TEAM CEE LO–Jamar Rogers VS Jamie Lono “I Want To Know What Love Is”
Jamar and Jamie have become friends, so they’re pretty bummed they have to battle. In practice Jamie is obviously the underdog. It seems to be yet another song geared to just one of the artists. Jamie sounds great in front of Babyface until his voice cracks once again. Boy better get it together. Cee Lo does tell Jamie he is a natural talent. Jamar and Ne-Yo are a great pair. Jamar is amazed he gets to duet with Cee Lo. Right away Jamar takes control of the battle and doesn’t let go. If Cee Lo wants to win this competition he’ll take Jamar all the way to the end. Adam tells Jamar he owned it and the three who didn’t pick him were the losers. Christina recognizes the song was just not suited for Jamie. Cee Lo tries to make Jamie feel good, but we all know who he’s going to pick, JAMAR ROGERS. It’s super sweet that Jamie isn’t crying because he lost but because Jamar deserves to move on. All together now…Awwwww!
For those keeping track at home:
TEAM CHRISTINA Chris Mann, Jesse Campbell, Sera Hill,
Lindsey Pavao, _________, _________
TEAM BLAKE Raelynn, Jordis, Charlotte Sometimes,
________, _________, _________
TEAM CEE LO Cheesa, Juliet Simms, Jamar Rogers,
_________, _________, __________
TEAM ADAM Tony Lucca, Kim Yarbrough, ________,
_________, _________, __________
Well, kids, it’s your turn! This is the point in the competition where it’s no longer about the voice and other factors begin to influence the judge’s decisions: See Charlotte vs Lex. Do you think they made the right decisions? Will Blake have a chance in hell with the way he’s picking artists? Is Cee Lo making his decision before the battle begins and hobbling the ones he wants out? Inquiring minds want to know!! COMMENTS appreciated!